When your heart wants love and to be in a committed, nourishing partnership, but you’ve been on your own for awhile, the idea of letting someone take up space in your schedule and also heart can feel really overwhelming. 

It can feel like this war between your head and your heart but in order to progress to the next level, you may have to face these fears head-on.

Today’s question comes from our Goddess community and circles around this exact topic. 

Q: I’ve been single for the past four years and have gotten really comfortable living and being on my own. I recently started dating a man and it’s progressing and I have to say, I’m freaking out a bit. How do I hold onto my independence and not lose myself in this, while still letting this man into my heart? My pattern once I’m in is to forget about myself and then I feel resentful-so I don’t want to repeat that! I feel excited and so scared. Help! 

Watch below for my response! 


Prefer to read? Scroll down for tips! 

  • Instead of focusing on what you will lose, focus on what you could gain-how could being in a healthy relationship add value to your life and actually help you? Example: It may encourage you to set more clear boundaries around your time and how you spend it and expressing what’s important to you.
  • Recognize that a different dynamic doesn’t take away from the awesomeness of the previous dynamic and vice versa. Yes there are things that will have to change when we add another person into the m but just like when you get a new job, or move to a new place, have a baby, write a book, etc. Priorities shift and that’s okay!
  • Instead of holding onto your independence as if it’s something that’s going to disappear, you can focus on being INTER-dependent (often when we are afraid of holding onto independence, what we anticipate is co-dependence replacing it!) 

Q: Have you struggled with this? What has helped you? Please share with our community!

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