There’s nothing more frustrating to feel like you are ‘doing all the right things’ and not seeing the results you want.
Especially when it comes to relationships and dating, there is so much inherently out of your control-mainly what the other person chooses to do or not do.
It’s easy to internalize every single thing that happens as personal and to let your emotions carry you down a negative spiral of self-doubt, fear or even depression.
Why is this happening to me?
What’s wrong with me?
Why are ‘they’ treating me like this?
Logically, we know we cannot control another person or make them do anything or say anything they don’t want to.
But that little child inside can throw a tantrum when you aren’t getting your way and it can feel neglected, not good enough or downright angry.
So…what can you do?
The only thing you can control is your energy.
And a big part of controlling your energy is managing emotions.
Even the ones you’d prefer to skip over!
Here are three tips to do that:
1. Get in your body-ASAP
Most of the time when we are in the midst of an emotional tornado, we bounce back from being in body and out of body, not even if our heads! Stomp your feet (again, use the little child thing to your advantage) for a few seconds, do some jumping jacks or if you aren’t in a place to do so, wiggle your toes in your shoes and rub your hands together like you’re trying to make a fire. This will take the energy back dow into your body so you can make choices from a grounded place.
2. Do some tapping.
EFT or emotional freedom technique can help to move energy fast. There are so many resources on this subject but for simplicity, one that I suggest to private clients is to take yo pointer finger and middle finger and lightly tap your heart right by the sternum. Say, “Even though I feel… (and then verbally dump EVERYTHING you are feeling and anything you want to just get out and vent) until you’re empty. Then say,”Even though I feel all of that, I still deeply and completely love and accept myself.” Then stop tapping and take a deep breath. Notice how you feel.
3. Remember that every emotion is temporary and circumstances can
change at the from of a hat.
Remind yourself the even if something feels stuck or you feel confused, scared, etc, it is actually a very temporary experience. Nothing is forever. Just allowing yourself to accept what you are feeling and experiencing can create space to move through I t more quickly. And you may find that solutions appear and energy starts to change and move when you least expect it…because you have decided to stay resent and stop trying to control what you cannot.
Q: Which one of these tips will you implement this week? Leave a comment and let me know.
And if you’d like to dive deeper into what you are currently experiencing and are ready to call in amazing relationships, it’s the perfect time to schedule a coaching consultation (complimentary but serious inquires only please!). I’d love to listen and learn more about your dreams and goals and how I can help. No obligation to purchase any services, but it is the first step to take if you are considering hiring me as your coach-an open heart and mind and willingness to share important. Go here to schedule that for yourself!