the best love and life advice I ever got (true story)

Have you ever been on a date or had a big decision or presentation at work to make and you literally can’t stop your brain from totally spinning out of control like a hamster on a wheel on steroids?

That was me.

I’d like to share a true story with you with the intent that it helps you love and trust yourself more. It’s a story about business but really it’s about loving yourself full out and falling in love with the real you. Would that be ok?

It was Circa 2012.

I remember sitting in my apartment, crying and stressed out because I didn’t know what to call myself.

I was on the phone with my astrologer and halfway through my rant about how I didn’t know if I was on the right track in my business, in my life, in my crazy dating life that inspired The Dating Mirror, he shut me up in his very classy, British way.

And told me some of the hands-down best advice I’ve ever received in my entire life.

Let me take you back

But before I spill the beans, to fully appreciate his advice, here’s a little background on where it came from:

I was at a place in my business where everything was expanding. Like faster than I could imagine and I was constantly putting pressure on myself to label myself for the masses.

For those of you who have been following me for awhile, you’ve seen me go through several incarnations and brand names.

I started out doing Angel readings on the streets of San Francisco (no joke!), became a Reiki Master Teacher and got a radio and TV gig doing readings for people live on air for four years. I was unofficially labeled The Next Doreen Virtue.

Then years ago at a mastermind, a mentor came up with the name, The CEO Psychic, for my business. It was true. A lot of my clients are CEO’s and big shots in their industries. I shared the same stage as Deepak Chopra and went on with that moniker and brand and my career shot way up.

And shortly after that, because a lot of my clients really wanted my help with their relationships, family and self-confidence (even though they would come to me initially for business intuition advice and cleverly sneak it in at the end!) Five Star Love Life came about. But throughout each brand evolution, I realized something huge.

The Trouble with Labels

All were fabulous monikers and names to be associated with. Clever. Clear. Sexy.

The trouble was, I found that each time I tried to label myself, I started to feel weird.

I went way more into my head than was helpful.

I started trying to fit myself into a neat little box that came with owning a particular “name” and it brought up a lot of pressure, anxiety and self doubt.

• I felt scattered and my life really mirrored that.

• I had success but I was all over the place, literally.

I think I moved four times between 2011-2013.

• My weight was up and down.

• I had really great men in my life who I (or they) for one reason or another just couldn’t commit to.

And I really had to work hard to find my center. Because something felt well, off, but I couldn’t quite pinpoint it. I needed help.

So I booked a session with my astrologer.

And here is what he said:

“Stop thinking so much. You’re so much better when you don’t think.”

He knew that going into my head first wasn’t my Zone of Genius. It was my Zone of Chaos. The breakthroughs came when I sank into the flow of the moment and then made decisions from my gut. And then and only then, assessed with the analytical mind. When I reversed the order, I just diluted my own power.

So often, especially in our relationships, we over think things.

We make lists when we should just enjoy be-ing.

And when we are too in our head, we tend to switch off our hearts and switch on the judgement.

And the criticism. And the pressure.

Especially self-inflicted pressure. And then we aren’t truly engaging with the other person anymore. Or our life. And we start to sabotage….and we wonder why our life isn’t shaping up the way we want

Change can bring you back to yourself

I knew something had to change and it could only come from within me. So I made a commitment to stop trying to label myself and instead focused on how I could serve the world with my message: to help people trust and love themselves in a soulful way. 

Once the pressure of having to “find and fit a label” was consciously lifted off, I found that every area of my life improved.

• I lost weight and had more energy for the things I loved.

• I became way better at managing my money and investing in things I value vs things I think I should have.

• And I attracted my current partner who truly accepts and loves me for who I am.

But none of that could have happened as quickly as it did if I hadn’t

1. Consciously taken a step back to look at where I was choosing to place my energy (into obsessively over thinking and measuring every choice against how it fit into a stupid box vs. just being in the moment.)
2. Seeing the blessings each incarnation brought me (gratitude and grace) and
3. Made the choice to be present without worrying so much about what other people (and I) thought of me

It all begins with a simple choice to do things differently.

So, now over to you.

Q: Where do you need to stop overthinking things in your life?

Q: Where could you benefit from relaxing into the here and now?

Q: What could be possible when you do this?

Share with me in the comments below!

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