Note from Diana: Let’s face it. When you are thinking about heading back into the dating game, it’s easy to want to approach it as you would your business-ruthless, focused and driven towards an intended outcome. If you’re in my community, chances are high that you are awesome at getting things done and making things happen, but in love, that can actually work against you. And when I sat down to chat with fellow Goddess from Creative Money, certified financial planner, Mindy Crary, we discovered something quite spooky-the blocks our clients were experiencing around money/their finances were almost identical to the blocks they were experiencing in their relationships.
So, of course, I wanted her to share her story with you about being a recovering workaholic and her secret to success (and it does NOT include being PRODUCTIVE)! You can apply the principles she shares below in your love life, health and yes, money space! And if you like what you read, be sure to sign up for Mindy and I’s FREE class coming up next week: 3 Love and Money Myths of the Alpha Female”
By Mindy Crary, from Creative Money
Are you a Type-A personality? As a recovering workaholic, it would be easy for me to work 60 hours a week to try and make things happen, but what I found is, the less productive I am, the better results I get, especially with the quality of my relationships!
Doing Nothing Is Hard
I stumbled on this realization during an especially challenging time in my life; I had just left traditional financial services and was starting my own business from scratch. I thought that I would have my business sale proceeds to live on during the transition, but the buyer was being difficult (and I ended up hiring an attorney to deal with him).So there I was, in a new city, trying to scratch out an income and find new clients. I was freaking out, because with some of my health issues, working 60 hours per week was no longer an option for me. And at some point, you know that you’ve done everything you need to do, and you’re just spinning your wheels.Finally–more out of defeat than optimism—I said, “Screw it, I am going to go enjoy the afternoon with my friends, I am sick of sitting in front of this computer and networking!”
Something From Nothing
I went out and relaxed for the first time in weeks. I never even gave the business a thought for over 6 hours, because I was having so much fun with my friends. Then I came home, and I had three messages from prospects wanting to work with me! I didn’t know about Law of Attraction yet, and I was just starting to understand my own energy. But I thought, “Wow, if THIS is what happens when I go have some fun, I need to have more fun!!” And since I made that connection, acquiring clients has never been an issue for me. If I feel myself starting to worry about business, I take the afternoon off and enjoy myself. And it never fails—when I come back and check my email, there are new prospects waiting for me.
Relaxing Into Productivity
I think the hardest thing for a Type A personality is to do nothing, and believe that what they want can happen without their intervention. But I find that even in other areas of my life, doing nothing gets me better results:
• Instead of chasing the guy I think I want, I signal my receptivity more passively and let men come to me (and allow our compatibility to unfold)
• Instead of driving my business agenda forward relentlessly, I defer decisions until it the right one is clear
• Instead of pushing for a friendship with someone I admire, I accept that everything happens in its own time (and enjoy those people offering friendship to me)
• Instead working out no matter what, I assess my energy and only do as much as will energize me on that day
• Instead of demanding what I need from others, I receive what is given freely, and know that there are countless other ways to get all of my needs met
It’s impossible to be productive and get results if you’re resistant to the way things are. By changing the scenery, relaxing and breaking out of whatever dynamic you’re caught up in, you’ll also release your resistance.
What To Do Instead
When you’re feeling stuck, unproductive and annoyed with the current situation, consider doing one of these three things instead:
Get outside. Nothing makes me happier than grabbing coffee and sitting in the dog park—even though I don’t have a dog! I can lose myself for hours watching their antics and enjoyment.
Exercise. Sometimes cardio make me feel aggressive, but it’s impossible to hold onto a freak-out with yoga. Or (if I don’t think of it as heart-pumping, “productive” exercise), walking through a beautiful park can be soothing.
Connect. Go see your friends—the real, living breathing version, not on social media! I try to connect in “real life” with someone every day, and even though I am an introvert, the contact energizes me.
Once I realized that stepping away from my business actually made it more successful, I made that a priority. I’m not goofing off; I am allowing things to develop without me!
Actions This Week: YOUR TURN!
• This week, let go of one situation that is frustrating you…step away and resolve to “let it be” for several hours, a day or a week. And go do something fun that makes you forget about it!
• In the comments, post your thoughts to this question: “What is one specific area of your life where you are ready to release the urge to be more productive? Why?”
Tell us! Declare your intention to receive solutions and resolutions without working so hard.
1. Join Mindy and me for our free class, “3 Love and Money Myths of the Alpha Female” coming up September 9th! Click here to learn more!
2. To learn more about Mindy and get her free gift, “Getting Started With Conscious Spending” go here!