The Secret to Lasting Love: A word from the wise…

With Valentines’ Day quickly approaching and just coming off the heels of the New Moon in Aquarius, you may be contemplating your closest relationships (or lack of relationships and intimacy). It can be so easy to judge ourselves, going into a tailspin of thoughts and fears like…

I should have X by now because I am (insert your age). What’s wrong with me? I wonder if I’m even capable of having a lasting relationship.  Maybe I should just get used to being alone. If you’re in a relationship, the day may bring up all sorts of expectations about how your lover displays his/her affection and what that means for your future status.

It can be a real bit^#, right?


grandpaandmeWell, I do have some words of wisdom to support you along the path of discovering LASTING LOVE. They come from my wise Aquarian grandfather, Carlos, who just turned 90 years old last weekend! I had the good fortune to spend some quality time with him alone. I always look forward to our visits and he’s famous for giving the impression that he’s comfortable with letting me get away with small talk and surface discussion, but then he’ll launch unexpectedly into some deeply philosophical conversation that forces me to look at things in a whole new way. It’s maddening at times, but there’s no denying that beyond the youthful twinkle in his eye, is a wise One. 

The Secret

The topic of love came up (of course it did!) and when he asked if I was in a relationship, I said yes. He continued, smiling but never letting up. “So, tell me. Is he a machista? Is he arrogant? What is his impression of women?” (Here we go...I thought to myself, smiling.) 

I replied with, “He’s great, Grandpa. You would really like him. He’s an Aquarius like you. He’s pretty quiet but we love each other and he says he wants to make me happy. I hope you get to meet him someday.”

 (I paused for reaction).

He just stared at me and was silent for a few minutes. (Great. I could take the barrage of questions, but not that stare. It’s penetrating and it feels like he’s looking into my Soul. Have you ever had someone look at you like that and you wonder how they can know so much about you, more than you know yourself?)

After what seemed like an eternity, he started laughing and giggling (I wasn’t sure if it was at me or at his own thoughts!) 

And then he came out with this:

“People (meaning me apparently!) confuse making someone happy with love. You see, happiness is a state of mind. A state of contentment. You give a dog food. He’s happy. It’s very easy. But love, true love on the other hand, that’s different. True love is when you intend to create an environment, a space, where the other person can be fully themselves.”

Whoa. I had to take that in.

But I didn’t get a chance to. He continued. 

“So, Diana, does he do that? Do you do that? Are you both committed to creating an space where you can both be yourselves, no matter what?”

Talk about being on the spot. 

I shouted out, “YES!” without much thought, which made him smile and honestly surprised me a bit. (Yes, even I have a tendency to come from my head sometimes before my intuition!)

He laughed again and then he shouted back, “Mija, let’s have some oranges! And I have Hershey chocolate too!” (Totally out of left field. I love Aquarians.)


The  Lessons and Your Turn

  1. Happiness is a choice we make independent of anyone else (single or attached.) Tweet This!

  2. Being in a loving, mutually beneficial relationship (even with ourselves) requires a commitment to allowing each person to be fully themselves. Where true love exists, there is no room for inauthenticity. Tweet This!

3. Your Turn: Fill in the blank.

To me, true love is _________________________. Post a comment with your response! Feel free to get creative!


Did you enjoy this post?

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Have a fabulous week and happy Valentines’ Day!



8 replies
    • dianadorell
      dianadorell says:

      Yes Janet! He did say that. I actually grabbed my I-phone to use the “note” feature and he gave me a look like I was being rude, until I explained that I was just trying to get down what he was saying!

  1. Natalie Vartanian
    Natalie Vartanian says:

    SO GREAT! And not surprised. My friend Aaron and I came to that SAME conclusion on Sunday with the people we are dating. It was the distinction for us as to why we are so sure the people we are with are the ones for us … and it was because we can absolutely be ourselves and they love us/support us 100% to be the best version of ourselves!!

  2. ernesto bustos
    ernesto bustos says:

    to me true love is to love your self first and accept your self as you are,then in turn to love your partner in life and accept her as she is -, the mistake we make is to try to change our partners to be how we want them to be–that is being selfish, childish and inmature, this create conflict with in our mind and heart.
    we need to grow and let our partners grow as well
    I am also an aquarian and I had the great pleasure of meeting Don Carlos many years ago, he is truly a wise man. God bless him and God bless his family as they are my family as well in my life and most of all in my heart

  3. Rachel Brown
    Rachel Brown says:

    to me true love is…joy. I think the joy is about what ur grandfather pointed out. A space to fully be yourself…joy would be a huge product of that, for me. <3


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