should you date a guy with kids?

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”– Lucille Ball

Q: I’m dating a guy with young kids and he says he loves me and I love him, but I always feel like everything we do has to be on his schedule. I’m starting to feel like I’m not getting my needs met. Should I stay with him and just accept that I’m never going to come first or should I just let it go now before I commit any further? Help!

This is a GREAT question and we’re going to hit it from several angles.

The suggestions offered can be applied to ANY area of your life where you feel like you’re getting the short end of the stick and you aren’t sure what the heck to do.

It all comes down to a few simple, but powerful things.

After you watch the video, be sure to answer the Soul Challenge Question for this week below!

Soul Challenge:

Here are some questions to consider: Share with us in the comments!

  1. Have you ever dated a guy with kids? What was your biggest takeaway from that experience? Any advice?
  2. What is ONE choice that you would be willing to make today that would be an act of self love?
  3. Share + take action on #2!

ps: Can I send you a free gift to help you make better decisions in love and life? Click here!

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Prefer to read? Here you go!

Title: Should you date a guy with kids?

Q: I’m dating a guy with young kids and he says he loves me and I love him, but I always feel like everything we do has to be on his schedule. I’m starting to feel like I’m not getting my needs met. Should I stay with him and just accept that I’m never going to come first or should I just let it go now before I commit any further?

A: There are a few key things happening here to look at.

First, being comfortable with a guy who has young children who still live at home.

Second, feeling safe to communicate what your needs are and standing up for what’s important to you and finally, deciding whether this is a situation that is going to help you get closer to your heart’s desire or take you further away.

It all boils down to 3 things: self-love, self-worth and knowing your deal breakers.

In your heart of hearts, before moving any further, it’s super important to ask yourself, “Is dating a guy with young kids a deal breaker?”

For example:

If deep down, you really want children of your own someday (in whatever capacity that looks like) and you’ve talked with him about it and he’s made it clear the kids he has are IT for him, well, then staying with him could feel like an act of self-betrayal… unless you are 100% willing to assume the role of stepmother and would be fulfilled with that.

If you on the other hand, you feel pretty neutral about having children with this man or he’s open to having more but are having a hard time getting the 1:1 time and feeling of adoration you want from him, then the issue is really about feeling confident and worthy of being adored.  It all goes back to basics. Self. Love.

Whatever we “need” from another is something we have to first learn how to provide for ourselves.

Important: This never comes from a “see-i-don’t-need-a-man-i-can-do-it-myself” lone ranger kind of place. That feels heavy and that’s when people can feel bitter about love.

It’s about learning how to come to the table with the qualities we seek in another so we have something to offer the relationships! It’s about coming from a place of overflow vs lack or seeking something we fear we aren’t really worthy of giving to ourselves.

Only then can we truly embrace the love that someone else has to offer us. And that makes them want to give you MORE. And you have to DO less. It’s truly a win: win.

So, the answer to the question is “it depends” (not what you probably wanted to hear, but hey, the Universe isn’t black and white.)

It depends on how much you are loving yourself.

It depends how deeply you affirm your own worth, not just in love, but everywhere in your life.

It depends on how well you are communicating what really want to yourself first and then another.

It depends on how well you know your deal breakers.

It depends on your level of courage and your risk-taking threshold.

It depends on how much you love yourself (yes I put it twice on purpose!)

And finally, it depends on what feels true and authentic to help your Soul fulfill it’s truest desires.

Soul growth is never easy, but TRUE and AUTHENTIC will always get you closer to what you really want.

 

Soul Challenge:

Here are some questions to consider: Share with us in the comments!

  1. Have you ever dated a guy with kids? What was your biggest takeaway from that experience? Any advice?
  2. What is ONE choice that you would be willing to make today that would be an act of self love?
  3. Share + take action on #2!

ps: Can I send you a free gift to help you make better decisions in love and life? Click here!

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