this question floored me..

Are you ready to give up being the warrior?

When I first heard a mentor ask that to a group I’m a part of , it floored me because even though the question wasn’t directed specifically at me, I could see how it described perfectly the way that I operated for the whole of my twenties and early thirties in relationship…and the dilemma many of my clients also face when they are just at the brink of a breakthrough in their relationship space, often with themselves.

This archetype of being a warrior has many connotations but for simplicity, assume that we are discussing the unhealthy pattern or “shadow” side of this powerful energy.

Characteristics of a warrior “Shadow” archetype:

  • Protecting or providing for someone you love at the expense of your own well-being
  • Rescuing or trying to control an outcome for someone else..
  • Kicking up drama in order to feel something…anything…to get a response or reaction from another
  • Fighting for someone who doesn’t want to fight for themselves
  • Doing things for someone or a cause from a stance of being “against” something or someone

I’ve heard so many women say how exhausted they are at feeling like they have to do battle with the world in order to be loved or to feel worthy of receiving love and a life of freedom, grace and magic.

Do you know a woman like that too?

If you fall into any of the above characteristics, just recognize that acknowledging a pattern of be-ing in relationship is truly half the battle towards shifting it. Release any judgement. Be gentle with yourself.

Most of us have never been taught another way.

A way that’s based on the premise that there’s nothing you need to fight for or defend because you’re connected to everything and everyone.

A way of be-ing that is less about pushing and forcing an outcome and more about creating space to act when  you’re guided to act…and to be still and open to receive when it’s time to do that too.

From that space, you bring in very different types of people into your world and relationships.

You may have gotten addicted to being a warrior.

To feeling like you have to ‘earn’ it or work hard for it.

‘It’ can be anything from a beautiful relationship, a job or business you love, money, anything.

But what if  you didn’t have to earn it or even work hard for it.

Would you still allow yourself to receive love?

The Shadow warrior would feel guilty. Or try to overcompensate. Because it wouldn’t feel worthy.

Or deserving.

But you are both.

You are worthy and deserving.

Breathe into that…say it aloud..notice any resistance that comes up.

Diana Dorell

This week’s soul Q: So let me ask you again, even if you don’t yet believe it, “Are you willing to give up being the Shadow warrior in your relationships?” What could open up for you or be different if you really, really let it go?

I’ll let that question simmer….

Hit reply and share if you feel guided!

Ps: Want to tap into that ‘other way’ I mentioned? Come to New York next month! I’ll be co-hosting a fun and powerful afternoon workshop called Love Your Intuition and would love to have you there!


Click the image below for more info.

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