Q: Dear Diana, I want to be a relationship but I don’t feel ready to start dating again. I feel like maybe I’m just meant to be alone. How do you know when you’re ready?
A: Great question!
It’s time to reframe “ready.”
Instead how would it feel to use the word, “willing?”
I’m not “ready” for….having a discussion about where we’re going, a committed relationship, to go back into dating, to quit my job and start the business, etc becomes…
“I’m willing/unwilling to _________.”
It has a totally different energetic frequency, doesn’t it?
When you say, “I’m not ready” it’s kind of a cop-out.
I was having a conversation with my father the other day around this and his answer was refreshing.
“Diana, no one’s ever ready. You’re never really ready for whatever big next step (a kid, marriage, a relationship, a new job, etc)”
In my experience, even the people who say they’ve been ready their whole lives are not because you’re ready when you decide to make a change.
You make the call.
You hit “send.”
You say, I love you.
You say, Let’s do this!
It all comes down to willingness and choice. You just make a choice or sometimes, the choice is made for you if you aren’t paying attention…and you have to get on the train until the very last stop. Even when you don’t want to (that’s karma!)
So let’s reframe ready shall we?
How would it feel to be really really honest with yourself and the other people in your life?
Instead of saying, “I’m not ready.”
How about these?
“I’m not willing to do this right now…I don’t desire XYZ now or ever…I am more committed to X rather than X because I feel scared/nervous/insecure, etc…”
Feel the difference? One is putting the focus on some arbitrary summon of ready and the other one is taking your power back to the present.
So, friend, I ask you, Are you willing to consider that you will never be ready?
What are you willing to do/say/be in this situation right now?
Start with that.
It will steer you back to the Truth and nothing bad ever came from telling the truth!
You’ve got this.
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