Which relationship team are playing for? Quiz inside!

Do you want a healthy, connected, passionate relationship where you get to be yourself, feel adored and appreciated?

Do you want to hold onto the success you’ve created and feel like it’s only getting better as opposed to feeling like you have to compromise yourself or struggle?

Congratulations! Most of us do. But one thing I noticed is that the people who seem to be happiest in their relationships (and not surprisingly in their careers) play for a very different team than the majority. And it starts with who they are BE-ing not necessarily what they are DO-ing.

Find out which team you predominately play for and which one sets you up for the most success below!

Disclaimer: I’m a basketball fan (one of the few sports I’ll actually watch and play for fun!) and as you read these, please know that they are generalizations meant to help you see yourself better in relationships but are not representative of every single person.


The Teams: Which One Are You On?

Relationship Team #1: Defense

Players on this team:

  • Tend to over-give out of guilt or fear that something will be taken away from them if they don’t

  • Are poor at setting boundaries with themselves and others (and/or actually sticking to them)

  • Play to not fail.

  • Top excuses of why they can’t be who they want to be: “I don’t have TIME. I’m too BUSY. I have to wait until ______________changes and then I’ll do it.”

  • Wait for external circumstances to change before taking a risk for fear or hurting someone or losing everything. (And then of course these people end up with FAR less than they deserve and the cycle repeats).

Relationship Team #2: Offense

Players on this team:

  • Tend to push others away emotionally for fear that something will be taken away from them if they open up/are vulnerable

  • Set strong boundaries and are quick to write people off when they cross them or fail to meet their high expectations (take-no-prisoners-attitude)

  • Play to conquer or prove something.

  • Top excuses of why they can’t seem to have a healthy relationship: “No one measures up to me. I need someone as/more successful/hot/better reputation etc than me. I refuse to settle for anything less.”

  • Jump into the next relationship/experience without completing the last one or slowing down to see the lessons learned (And of course, because they never completed, they bounce from love to love blaming the other person or saying that there is no one out there for them, but they refuse to look at the common denominator: themselves!)


Now I know you might be saying to yourself, “Great, Diana, so what’s the “right” team then?”

First of all, its not about right/wrong.

It’s about taking the best of both teams and blending them into a BALANCED energy.


Check it out:


Relationship Team #3: Hybrid for Success


From Light side of #1

  • Exhibit compassion for another person and themselves

  • Feels safe to draw a boundary and communicate it, even if they are afraid

  • Takes risks and plays to WIN, even if that means temporary discomfort or a change in circumstance


From Light side of #2


  • Knows that the relationship is more important than needing to be “right”

  • Feels safe to say I need help/be vulnerable

  • Completes what they started and is willing to admit when they made a mistake

  • Self-reflective and willing to listen to constructive feedback/give constructive feedback while keeping Ego intact


Take Action: Your Turn!


It’s not an exact science, but by practicing and trying on the characteristics above, you will be well on your way to attracting healthy, dynamic and fulfilling relationships!


Q: Which Relationship Team quality will YOU try out this week?


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2 replies
  1. Lynsey
    Lynsey says:

    This week I will practice being more vulnerable and asking for help! So often I find myself shutting down or shutting people out because I am afraid of losing something or being hurt. In the end doing this leaves me feeling alone and hurt LOL! Funny how we sometimes create the exact thing we don’t want! So I will practice letting others in and being vulnerable :0) Go team hehe!

    • Diana
      Diana says:

      Thank you for your comment Lynsey! Let us know how the practice of staying open goes. Just by declaring it, you are already on your way! Much Love, Diana


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