Things to do when you find out your ex has moved on….unfiltered!

You broke up a year ago. You’re totally over him. You’re feeling like yourself again.

And then you get on Facebook and innocently check out his page. And BAM! There it is. His relationship status has changed to “in a relationship.”

Or your well meaning friend (thinking you’re over him/her) casually mentions that He/She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named just moved and ps, their new sig-o is wearing a sparkler on a special finger.

Let’s face it, finding out that your ex has moved on SUCKS. There is no easy way around it. It can send us into a spiral of shame, despair, anxiety and bursts of fiery rage!

I’ve been there (actually both of those scenarios are from my life) and luckily there are three things you can DO to get your energy moving out and on from what’s-their-name.

 

1. Name it!

There is nothing less authentic than pretending that you don’t feel what you do!  So, before you go into …..“I am FINE. I am thinking POSITIVE. I send him and his new girlfriend lots of love and Light” do yourself a favor and LET IT ALL HANG OUT.

Let yourself cry, yell, scream, hit the pillow, laugh. Feel it fully and don’t try to rationalize it. It’s not rational. And it’s okay.

2. List it!

Get out a sheet of paper and write down all the things that you no longer have to deal with by being with this person. Keep it short and sweet and don’t censor yourself. If you’re a Type-A Goddess, I want you to write down at least 5 things.

TIP: Do this in your own handwriting vs. typing as it is easier to stay out of your head.

Ex: He never shaved. She will never tell me that my car hobby is stupid. Etc….This will remind you why you aren’t with them and thank Goddess! It keeps the focus on the space you are creating by not having this person in your intimate space anymore!

 

3. Affirm it!

One of my favorite mantras for letting go of feeling rejected is “Rejection is Spirit’s protection. Something perfect is on its way.” Say this each day, several times a day if you need to to remind you to focus on expansion vs. going back and dwelling on the past. Your ex is your ex for a reason. End of story.

 

Your Turn!

Q: What advice do YOU give to your friend who finds out her ex has moved on? Do you have resources, actions or tips you can offer up? Post a comment! You never know who just got off Facebook and desperately needs to hear what you have to say!

 

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2 replies
  1. Zuri
    Zuri says:

    Such an empowering article, Diana! I love the mantra too. It’s a beautiful reminder to keep people focused on letting go of what’s no longer helping them move forward so they can create the space for something much better.

    Here’s an article I wrote on how to stop letting an ex live rent-free in your head: http://askzuri.com/blog/2007/04/leaving-skidmarks-on-your-way-out-of-a-relationship/

    Hope this resource also helps anyone struggling with a break up heal and move on!
    xoxo
    Zuri

    Reply

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