4 sabotaging behaviors that repel love and keep you stuck

The Universe wants to support you 100%.

It has no agenda.

It has no opinion.

It merely matches your dominant vibration and says, “Okay-let’s give you more of that!”

It wants you to be as joyful, happy or miserable as your frequency emits.

It is always listening.

And when it comes to finding love and having harmonious relationships, there are 4 core sabotaging behaviors that repel love from staying and keep you stuck in all areas of your life.

For each I have given you a specific example of how this could play out in real-life and what the Universe really hears when you exhibit each behavior.

Heads up: Be gentle with yourself as you read this. If you recognize that you have been engaging in one or more of these behaviors, simply notice what comes up. Acknowledging it is the first step to changing it.

1) saying you want something and doing the exact opposite

Ex: Saying you want to be a committed relationship but having regular sex with your ex who has made it clear he is seeing other women.

Universe hears: “You value no-strings-attached relationships so we will send you more people who also value that.”

2) thinking thoughts and taking actions that are divided-some are in alignment with what you declare and others are aligned with the opposite (talk about mixed messages to the Universe!)

Ex: If you desire to have relationships that are a two-way street where you feel respected and cherished, maybe you have a difficult conversation with a good friend about feeling like you aren’t always able to vent to her but at the same time, you are tolerating less-than-respectful behavior from a co-worker and not saying anything about it.

Universe hears: “You like getting the short end of the stick and being disrespected. We will send you more of that.”

3) breaking your commitments (to yourself and to others)

Ex: You make an appointment (with anyone from your mother to a business associate to your dentist) and you either don’t show up at all or cancel at the last minute because something else better came along.

Universe hears: “Your word and other people’s time are not important, so we will send you people who also don’t value your time and word.”

4) Ghosting aka giving off “avoidant” vibes

Ex: This one is pretty self-explanatory, but this can look like anything saying yes to a date and never answering any texts or phone calls to confirm where you’re meeting to getting an email from your boss and being too chicken to say how you really feel, so you just send it to the trash, hoping the issue will just magically disappear. Only it comes up again and again, usually in another relationship.

Universe hears: “You like to play games and you like to be chased more than you want to have a real relationship. So we will send you people who play lots of games with you too!”

Why we continue these sabotaging behaviors:

  1. Fear-that we are going to make the wrong decision. So we don’t make any, which is a decision in itself.
  2. Fear of taking full responsibility for creating our life. If we don’t decide, it’s “someone else’s fault.” And we are off the hook. Only you’re not, because you co-create your reality with the Universe 24/7 so this leads to feelings of helplessness and a lack of confidence, two energies that repel quality relationships.
  3. We are terrified of actually getting what we want! What would have to change if you welcomed in that soul mate today? Asked for that raise? Told your sister to take lay off you on X topic already? Change can feel scary, so we default to what keeps the very thing we want at bay.

Q: Which of the four behaviors speak to you to shift in order to have more of what you want-happiness, joy, inner confidence and love?

Share with us in the comments!

Ready to get unstuck and stop sabotaging your success and confidence?


Click here to book a complimentary 15-min consultation and let’s have a zero-obligation, zero-pressure conversation about what could be blocking you.

3 steps to pull yourself out of an emotional hole (aka a crappy as& day)

Fact: No matter how many affirmations you do, or how well intentioned you are, having a doozy of a day is bound to happen every now and then.
Being on the spiritual path doesn’t mean you won’t ever encounter sadness, anger or rage. Or crappy experiences. Or your own negative self talk.

Quite the contrary actually.

I work with highly intuitive, successful clients and the further they go on the spiritual path and peel back the layers of crap that kept them from fully experiencing a high-quality relationship and optimum self-love, the greater their sensitivity and more finely-tuned their intuition gets.

Which is awesome and with that, comes an increased level of responsibility for taking care of your energy and knowing how to pull yourself out of a rut/self-soothe!

So, on the days where your energy is a bit lower than normal and you are particularly sensitive to the vibes of the people around you, it’s more important than ever to

a)  give yourself permission to move through tough moments. Feel the feelings, rage, cry, let.it.out in a wild dance or howl (brownie points if you don’t live in a city like NYC where no one really gives a rats as& if you howl in public!)

b)  Give yourself permission to tell your Ego to take a hike…before it tries to take you into a downward spiral, telling you a story of why you aren’t good enough/worthy enough/deserving enough/how the Universe doesn’t really care about you at all/etc etc (insert any other super victim-like thought here).

See when you distill it down to the simplest form, getting yourself out of an emotional hole is all about the story.

And in any given moment, you can ask yourself:

c) “Is the story I’m choosing to believe right now about myself supportive or destructive, given what I really really care about?” If it isn’t, then say, “Thank you very much, but we already read that book. NEXT!” And find a new story that is supportive.

Just even asking the question above can take you out of your head and back into what is important to you, without all the judgement, emotion and energetic haze.

Now over to you: which of the 3 steps (a, b or c) are you open to playing with this week? Share with us in the comments and have a fantastic week!


Ps: Do you know you have some crap to clear that’s holding you back? Join the Summer of Love healing series, going on all June ! It is free and our 2nd call is this Wed! A replay of the 1st call is available so you can catch up and listen.

Sign up here:  https://dianadorell.lpages.co/hyh/

Can you attract love if you don’t have your financial shit together? Q+A with Diana!

Q: I feel like I don’t have my financial shit together, so I don’t feel like I’m a good match for someone until I figure that part out first. I want to put myself out there, but I’m afraid that if I do meet someone they will just judge me for not having it all together like them. I know this is stopping me from being fully open to love, but what can I do?

Click here to watch what I told her + even if you are already in a relationship, check it out because the advice shared is all about empowering you to allow in more of the good stuff!


Want more?

Sign up for my Summer of Love FREE Series starting this June!

does it have to be ‘hard’ for you to receive it?

Have you ever had any of these lines running through your head when it came to receiving something you really wanted?

“If I didn’t ‘work for it’, I don’t really deserve it <insert awesome desire here>.”

“If it comes too easily, it’s probably a fluke.”

“If comes too easily, I won’t really value it. If it’s hard, I’ll know it was worth it.”

These are some of the stories you can tell yourself that keep you stuck from either

a) letting something or someone go who is taking up space in your life or

 b) receiving at the Highest capacity in the most graceful and efficient way.


To give you a real-life example: Diana’s crazy as* dream

One of my craziest dreams: I was trudging up a crazy rock that turned into a gigantic slide (yea…it was pretty wild!). I was trudging up there to get my red suitcase that I had left at the top and everyone was waiting for me at the bottom of the scary rock to go to the airport.

My palms were sweating and my heart was beating so fast and I wanted to cry. What if I didn’t make it all the way up? What if I fell and died? And the most hilarious question: What if I take too long and people get pissed off that they miss their flight? (recovered people pleaser here!)

But I knew if I just stayed where I was, it was going to be a long, painful experience. So once I got to the top, I saw two red suitcases-one was mine and one…get this…was my ex boyfriend’s red suitcase with all his baggage in it! (Huge metaphor!)

And in that moment, I made the decision to just take my suitcase and leave his luggage behind!

I grabbed mine and slid down the slide with ease and I squealed like a little kid as I sped down the scary rock mountain. And I got a high five and waves on the way down.

Now let’s break that down.

My subconscious (like yours) works things out in dreamland and after talking it out with my good friend, she pointed out that perhaps mine was working overtime but had finally created space for me to stop the pattern.

The pattern of associating letting go of something that had long been kept past its expiration date with PAIN and scary up-hill struggle….and feeling like I was responsible for anyone’s baggage but my own (especially in romantic relationships!).

I had to trudge up the hill (my belief that it had to be hard) but once I made the call from my Soul vs. my old story to only take my baggage down, I was free.

And it was actually quite fun to let go and I was calm in the knowledge that if he wanted to trudge up the scary rock mountain slide to get his baggage, it was quietly waiting for him up there. But I had a plane to catch!

What it really takes to transform this belief that in order to receive something great, it must have to be a “hard” process:

 You must:

  1. shift into seeing yourself as someone who is worthy of great things (without struggle as a requirement)
  2.  be willing to let go of the commitment you made to struggle and…
  3. Make a decision and daily commitment to doing what is healthy and loving for yourself (even if it annoys other people)

Q: Have you ever struggled with the belief that things have to be hard? What has helped you or which of the 3 tips above will you implement this week? Share with us in the comments here!

Want to let go in a safe space with a community of like-minded peeps?

Join me for my FREE Community Group Energy Clearing Night: Heal Your Heart Space this Thursday, May 25 (new moon!) right here: https://dianadorell.lpages.co/hyh/


want to let more love in? try this!

Are you ready to call in MORE?

Have you been held back by past disappointment or fears?

I’ve got your back!

So excited to be sharing one of my favorite mudra (body symbols) and accompanying mantra that helps with:

  • Reprogramming your subconscious fears around receiving
  • Letting go and letting someone into your heart after being burned in the past
  • Lowering anxiety + calming your nervous system (yay calm energy!)

Watch this short video and do the exercise with me! 

You can do this inconspicuously in your office, before bed, or whenever you feel that constriction in your body that comes up when you are about to sabotage an opportunity!

ps: Want more? Get my 5-day ecourse “Soul Mate” here