what if you’re never ready?

Q: Dear Diana, I want to be a relationship but I don’t feel ready to start dating again. I feel like maybe I’m just meant to be alone. How do you know when you’re ready?

 

A: Great question!

 

It’s time to reframe “ready.”

 

Instead how would it feel to use the word, “willing?”

 

I’m not “ready” for….having a discussion about where we’re going, a committed relationship, to go back into dating, to quit my job and start the business, etc becomes…

 

“I’m willing/unwilling to _________.”

 

It has a totally different energetic frequency, doesn’t it?

 

When you say, “I’m not ready” it’s kind of a cop-out.

 

I was having a conversation with my father the other day around this and his answer was refreshing.

 

“Diana, no one’s ever ready. You’re never really ready for whatever big next step (a kid, marriage, a relationship, a new job, etc)”

 

In my experience, even the people who say they’ve been ready their whole lives are not because you’re ready when you decide to make a change.

 

You make the call.

 

You hit “send.”

 

You break-up.

 

You make-up.

 

You say, I love you.

 

You say, Let’s do this!

 

It all comes down to willingness and choice. You just make a choice or sometimes, the choice is made for you if you aren’t paying attention…and you have to get on the train until the very last stop. Even when you don’t want to (that’s karma!)

 

That’s “ready.”

 

So let’s reframe ready shall we?

 

How would it feel to be really really honest with yourself and the other people in your life?

 

Instead of saying, “I’m not ready.”

 

How about these?

 

“I’m not willing to do this right now…I don’t desire XYZ now or ever…I am more committed to X rather than X because I feel scared/nervous/insecure, etc…”

 

Feel the difference? One is putting the focus on some arbitrary summon of ready and the other one is taking your power back to the present.

 

So, friend, I ask you, Are you willing to consider that you will never be ready?

 

What are you willing to do/say/be in this situation right now?

 

Start with that.

 

It will steer you back to the Truth and nothing bad ever came from telling the truth!

 

You’ve got this.

 

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want to feel more confident? stop doing these 3 things!

It’s almost the Full Moon (Thursday) and if you’ve been feeling

:restless

: emotional

: cranky pants and on edge

: everything seems to be changing in your life and you’re not sure what to grab onto

Breathe.

It’s all meant to serve you.

Would you like to get a mini-reading from me and let go of negative energy in a supportive space?

RSVP to the Angel Message Circle Night on Oct 10 right here.  http://www.paypal.me/dianadorell/27

It is just $27 and you receive a mini-reading and energy clearing with the group. Can’t make it live? No problem!
We are recording it and you may submit your questions via email 24 hours before.

Now onto today’s topic: Self confidence!

This week’s post: 3 behaviors that suck your self confidence

The #1 thing that attracts people towards you is an air of self-confidence.

It doesn’t matter if you want to ask for a raise, are looking to meet the love of your life or are wanting to be taken seriously among your friends and family.

True self-confidence is cultivated when the daily choices you make for yourself and your life support and are aligned to your deepest priorities.

Not the priorities your family thinks you should have.

Or your friends.

Or your boss.

What are your deepest priorities right now?

If you want to not only feel more confident in your relationships but want to BE confidence, watch out for these little confidence-sucking behaviors:

#1 Making a decision under pressure or when you feel ungrounded.
Any decision made because of fear, FOMO, or when you’re just plain dehydrated, hungry or tired is not likely to be a supportive one. Take care of you first. You’ll make a better decision when your brain and body are nourished.

#2 Getting clear on a decision and then asking everyone and your mom what they think you should do.
It’s natural to want to receive validation that you are making the right choice for yourself, especially if it’s a big choice. But if you’ve taken the time to get clear on your own, if you want to flex your confidence muscles, practice following through on your gut instead of deferring to other people before you trust your initial decision. The only way you’ll know if it’s right is if you feel solid and true within yourself and if it’s not, you can course correct later.

#3 Slouching
I’m serious. With all the technology at your fingertips, it’s so easy to have poor posture from looking at your phone too much or round your shoulders inward but 90% of our response to one another is nonverbal, so if your words are confident but your body is anything but, guess which one will win out? Straighten that spine, get off your phone (or hold it up to eye level at least!) and open your chest up. You’ll breathe better, carry yourself with more confidence and you’re way more likely to be received as confident even if inside you’re having a crappy day.

Q: Which one of these 3 have you experienced before? What happened? Hit reply and let me know!

don’t cheat yourself, you’re worth it (true story inside)

I’m going a bit off-the-cuff for this week’s blog and share a true story about not listening to your intuition and the results of that.

Are you game?

Have you ever been so set on changing a pattern that isn’t serving you that you decided to do something a little ballsy to mix it up, without any idea of what you were getting yourself into?

Yea…that’s what happened to me this past weekend.

I want to share this story with you with the intent that it serves you in listening to your own internal nudges, being vulnerable and valuing yourself in all areas of your life.

I’ve noticed with dancing that I am really great at solo dancing that requires technical and emotional skill. As a musical theatre actress-singer-dancer-turned-intuitive, I am well versed in ballet, jazz, hip hop and other highly technical dances. I know them. They are a part of my bones and I can do them in my sleep. I can hold my space and own it pretty easily.

Partner dancing where I have to totally surrender and let go? Not so much.

So, in an effort to dive into uncharted territory,  I signed up for tango.

And the day came (Saturday at 2:15pm to be exact) and it was 2:05 and I was literally thinking of things I had to do so I could justify not going to the class.

I had to eat.

I had to do laundry.

I was already late.

Well, the studio was literally a 2 minute drive from my home and something told me to just freakin go.

I got there late and everyone was already dancing in neat circles. (great! Maybe I should go! Don’t want to mess up their rhythm and what not…”My inner saboteur thought)

The moment I turned to leave, the instructor (husband of a husband/wife team) asks me to be his partner to demonstrate a step.

Does he know this is my first class?

He said, “Not to worry-just let me lead you. All you need to do is follow and trust.”

Sometimes the Divine speaks through people. Loud and freakin clear.

I started tearing up and my throat got really tight. Great…

Before I put my hands on his in position,I blurted out to him, “I’m here because I know how to lead…really really well. I suck at following and I don’t know how to let go in partner dancing, so that’s why I’m here. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

He just gazed at me, smiled and without another word, started leading me and the group to some Argentine guitar.

He could feel my arm get tense as I tried to push back and control when we took the next step.

He firmly and gently stopped me…and redirected me which pissed my inner leader off at first.

But after a tug of war that went on for a few more minutes, at some point, my inner leader just gave up. She was exhausted.

I let myself go.

And I felt as light as a feather so much so that I didn’t realize that the music had stopped.

He just looked up at me again and said, “It’s nice isn’t it? Being led. You move very well.” And then he went off to watch the others.

I didn’t have a response.

It. was. A-m-a-z-i-n-g. I signed up for four more classes. Baby.steps.

Spiritual takeaways:

Our Ego mind is terrified of following.

Of letting go of control.

Of sitting with the unknown, uncertainty, and land of no guarantees or immediate validation.

But the Soul isn’t afraid.

It knows that what you need is always provided for.

That when you show up for yourself even when you’re scared, you will always be supported.

What I’ve discovered is that it takes tremendous courage to surrender.

To let go of thinking you have it all figured out or that you have a set way of being or doing things.

Because the truth is you are always evolving.

You’re always changing.

And you can hold onto control or let go and let yourself be surprised at how Spirit catches you.

Q: So, what is one area where you have been afraid to let go of control? What would letting go of control look like in this area, feel like, smell like?

Can you commit to play with that feeling this week?

Love, Diana

PS: Would you like to come join me for a Fall Spiritual Message Circle Tuesday, October 10?

Come and clear out the negative, stuck energy with an energy healing meditation, hear a channeled message for the group and ask me + your Spirit Guides a question and receive a personal card for this Fall! $27 to join us and get clarity! Space is limited. Click here to reserve your seat!

NOTE:

A replay is available and you may submit your question via email 24 hours before if you cannot attend live.

3 ways to unwind and get in your Yin energy in relationships

3 Ways to Cultivate Yin energy and get what you want most in relationships: tenderness, understanding and compassion

  • Have a transition between your work day and personal life.

Preferably one that gets you into your body or in a space of receptivity. Some of my fav’s? Listening to music. Reading a fiction book for 10 minutes. Changing my clothes slowly and mindfully.

  • Ask someone for their recommendation on something.

You don’t have to do that but it’s a practice to just think a bit more spherically and staying open to possibilities beyond your own head.

  • Indulge your senses (smell especially)

Put lotion on your body or hands (without multi-tasking). Smell candles (I do this at stores just for fun!). Use a new shower gel or perfume. When you indulge your senses, you naturally calm your nervous system and are more likely to hear the voice of your intuition because you aren’t striving for a solution. You are present.

Q: Which one of these 3 tips will you try this week? Share in the comments below!

Want to get free updates to improve your relationships and self confidence? Click here.

3 Beliefs To Kick To The Curb If You Want To Create An Amazing Relationship And Life

Happy Tuesday!
First off, I just want to say that if you’ve been feeling a bit wonky after the Eclipse, it’s all okay!
You may be feeling amazing and still wonder….when is the other shoe going to drop?
During these times of extreme change it’s easy to go into a story that keeps you stuck or makes you believe that somehow the very thing you want is out of reach for you.
Especially when it comes to love.
Here are 5 pesky things we tell ourselves that slow your manifesting roll. 
See, your head can justify these as truth but 90% of the time, it’s just your subconscious mind trying to keep you safe from the big, bad, unknown awesomeness waiting for you on the other side.
Belief #1: It’s not the “right” time for (insert awesome opportunity or desire here)
A: The right time is when you decide to go all in. The moment you decide and believe that what you desire actually can happen, little things will appear on your path to support that belief. 
When we say it’s not the “right” time, what we are really saying is a) I don’t feel like putting the effort in or making the changes required for me to take action yet or b) I am not really really sure I want said thing. 
Reframe: The right time is when I go all in.
—————
Belief #2: I have to get X part of my life handled first and then I can have what I really want (a relationship, etc).
A: While you may receive internal guidance that whispers, “Let’s handle your health first” that doesn’t mean you have  to tuck your desire for a relationship away. That is lack energy and what I call the either/or kiss of death for manifesting. Instead, if you want to be in partnership, focus on your health AND notice the love around everywhere you go. Why limit it to dating energy? There is no scorecard the Universe is keeping that says “Oh, this one is getting her health in order…now she’s worthy of love! Move her over to the love corner Angels!” You are worthy of what you desire now…and you can focus on your health too! With both/and energy in your space, you will be that more magnetic to romance when it comes in your Path and you’ll notice it too because you’ve been noticing it everywhere you go!
Reframe: I listen to my inner guidance and allow myself to desire everything I desire without apology.
——
Belief #3: I don’t know how to do it right.
A: Perfectionism kills manifesting flow. It takes you right up into your head and out of possibility. So, you may go all in and not get the response you wanted. You might “fail” but if you get a choice right out of the gate to lead from fear or to lead from courage, courage is going to get you a heck of a lot closer to what you want.
In love, we are all messy. Your rule is to be utterly and totally your delightful self. And ask yourself this: Who are you more attracted to? The person who has to have everything perfect or the person who isn’t afraid to laugh and stumble but keep going?
Reframe: I am willing to let go of being perfect. Who I am is enough.
That’s it folks!
Now over to you: Which one of the 3 beliefs are you ready to turn on its head this week? Hit reply and tell me.