3 steps to cure comparing-itis

It starts off innocently.

You’re in a great mood-feeling pretty good about your day.

You go to your computer and log into Facebook.

Or Gmail.

You’re sifting through, humming along and and you see it.

“Just engaged-I said YES!”

“I just crossed $50k/month in my online business!”

“Dear (you), OMG, I am finally doing it! I quit my job and just booked my dream vacation to Paris-paid speaking gig and they are covering it!”

And your energy drops.

Your mind starts to ping pong and race.

You feel anxious.

You’ve just stepped into comparison-itis land!

Here are 3 simple (and spiritual) steps you can take when you find yourself in comparison-itis land, especially around relationships.

Watch here:

 

This week’s Soul Love Q: Have you ever struggled from comparison-itis? What did you do? Share with us!

 

Ps: Want to attract L-O-V-E and get free weekly updates? Click here and I will send you the 5-day ecourse (totally free!) to help you attract love and feel happy, adored and free!

funny v-day story + your love gift!

Flashback. Circa 2006/2007. San Francisco.

“Cecilia!!! He didn’t do anything!! Anything!!!”

I came out of dive bar with my friend, wailing because my boyfriend at the time hadn’t done anything romantic or grand for the big V-day (I had told him casually that I didn’t care for the holiday and well, being an engineer he took me literally-men, if you are reading this, never fall for this line…most of us DO care even though we pretend we don’t) but the icing on the cake was that his mother was driving up to see him from the suburbs and he had erased all evidence of my existence at his apartment. Today of all freakin days to visit her son. I mean, seriously? This was not okay!

As the terrible-no-good-very-bad-night wound down, I was so out of my head and enraged that I was convinced that my car had been stolen. We looked everywhere, up and down every street in the Mission and in my frantic state, I called the SF police and my boyfriend. Both were on their way and then my friend yells, “Diana, isn’t that your car right over there?” Gulp. It was right in front of us the whole time. I had to explain myself to the police, inform my boyfriend that no…I did not need him to come and well…let’s just say it wasn’t my finest moment.

The lesson:

I share this story with you because no matter what your “relationship status” is, Valentine’s Day can bring up all sorts of weird insecurities and emotions that you didn’t even know you had in you. Back then, the only way I could validate being lovable was by a man going above and beyond to make sure the whole world knew I was. It was about Ego, not expressing. But there’s another way. Over the years, I’ve learned to have compassion for that wounded aspect within us that so badly wants validation and affirmation.

And what I’ve come to realize is that it’s far more empowering to see it as a reminder from the Divine, Spirit, God/Goddess that we are a vessel for love.

That our natural state is well…love. And what if instead of making it about personal love to one person, it became an opportunity to spread love everywhere you see it? How does that feel in your body? And most importantly, to the person staring you back in the mirror? Aren’t they worth it?

Here’s the rub: Our capacity to receive and recognize love= the capacity we have to love ourselves TWEET THAT.

Flawed, annoying, inconsistent, but incredibly fabulous whole. Self.

Easy to say. Harder to practice, right?

Will you join me?

I’m hosting a FREE 5-day Soul Love Challenge/e-course starting right now and I’d love for you to join me!

But when you truly love and accept yourself, the whole world opens up.

You are no longer a prisoner of your circumstances, of other people’s opinions.

You’re magnetic without trying to be. And then, shit comes to you that you didn’t even ask for that is better than you could have ever imagined.

Instead of scraping for crumbs, you’re given not one, but two cakes and they both have a ton of icing on it.

I call it the self-love Goddess way. Cheesy? Maybe. But don’t judge it until you try it.

This isn’t a do-it-once-get-a-result-quit-it-and-resume-your-old-way kind of shifting.

It’s about shifting into a way of Be-ing.

Want to get a taste of what that feels like?

Join me for the 5-day e-course and Soul LOVE Challenge!

Here’s to spreading love all around the world, starting with you dear Soul friend.

Happy Valentines’ Day week and excited to be a part of raising the energetic frequency starting NOW.

Love and Blessings,

Diana

are you in a toxic friendship? 5 signs to know for sure

When a romantic relationship ends, it can be heart-breaking, but when you are questioning a friendship that has been in your life for much longer, it can bring up a lot inside because well, there is a lot at stake.

Some friendships simply fizzle over the course of time, but then there are other ones that may teeter on the edge of unhealthy but for whatever reason, you’re afraid to cut them loose.

Am I just being too needy?

Am I expecting too much?

Am I just freaking out about nothing?

These are some of the questions that can run through your head and it can be really hard to sift through those thoughts and determine whether you’ve just hit a bump in the road or it’s a friendship turned toxic.

Here are 5 signs to know for sure. Read each of them and pay attention to your body’s first response. If you have a particular reaction, take note!

5 signs you’re in a toxic friendship

  • You feel worse about yourself or physically drained or “off” within the first 5 minutes of them leaving your space or you leaving theirs.
  • You hide parts of yourself because you know you will be judged.
  • You have shared something intimate with them that you asked to be kept in confidence and they betrayed that trust
  • You only hear from them when there’s something catastrophic or dramatic going on in their lives (with you in the starring role as unpaid therapist).
  • You only hang out with them because you are worried that if you break up with them, they will feel so terrible (putting their needs above your own)

What next?

Once you’ve assessed your friendship, the next step is to consider how you want to address it.

If you’ve determined you have a toxic friendship, one option is to distance yourself from that person. Another is to have a conversation with them and set some boundaries or in some cases, have the “friend breakup” talk.

Need help with knowing what to say? Check out one of my most popular posts: 4 Steps to Having an Uncomfortable Conversation

The bottom line is this: We teach the people in our lives how to treat us. The more you can spot red flags early on, the more space you create in your life for awesome friends who treat you right!

Your turn: Have you ever been in a toxic friendship? What did you do to come out of it or what is one thing you learned about yourself through that? Share with us in the comments (down below and to the right!)

Want more?

Click here to sign up for free weekly updates and get a free gift on me to help you trust and love yourself!


New Moon Reading Special (until February 1)

What does this New Moon mean for YOU?
New Moons are a time of birthing new conditions, re-setting your foundations for lasting success in 2017 and re-aligning spiritually.
When you mix your unique energies with the energies of the planet, it is easier to call in what your Soul wants with grace and ease.
And the Angels can help you find peace in your heart around the issues that arise during this powerful time. So you can let go of what’s held you back, see the lesson and begin to heal. I know how easy it is to feel alone or scared during this time, like things aren’t going to get better or how easy it is to get stuck in worry, wondering what’s coming up or why stuff is happening!
One of my greatest pleasures and Purposes is to help amazing Lightworkers like YOU to tune into the natural cycles of your journey, help you pin-point the possible roadblocks and to help you use the energies that are coming up to help you move forward courageously!
And so until 6pm Pacific February 1, I’m offering a special email reading/healing combo to support you during the New Moon shifts!
Click here to book yours! I’m excited to connect with you.

5 steps to stop feeling like a ‘fraud’ a.s.a.p

So, today’s post comes from a comment a woman shared with me and I have a feeling that you may vibe with it (or know someone who would).

She is a very successful Feng-Shui consultant and she is dedicated to helping her clients bring order and peace back into their homes and relationships. But despite all her success (she practically has a waiting list because she’s so awesome at what she does!), there was a nagging feeling she couldn’t shake.

Q: “Diana, how do I deal with this feeling of guilt for helping my clients harmonize their space and relationships when I don’t have my own shit together in either area?”

(Translation: How do I stop feeling like a fraud?)

Ouch.

This is a big and very common feeling that I hear running rampant, especially with super freakin talented (and successful!) folks and it’s time to address this.

Here’s 5 steps you can take if you have ever felt this way:

———

Step 1: Recognize the Pattern

In my experience, this “fraud voice” usually comes up when you are about to make a big change, leap or transition that you know is right.

(it’s actually been a long time coming) but there’s fear because there are no guarantees that it’s all actually going to work out.) You just feel it. (And the thought of not doing it feels like you’d be selling out on yourself/out of integrity.)

Ex: Raising your rates, Having the “Talk” with your significant other or finally starting your own spiritually-based business.

Is this you?

Step 2. CALMLY acknowledge the voice

If so, after taking a few deep breaths, state aloud: “I recognize that I am currently experiencing fear around __________(insert your BIG leap here). I see you. I feel you. And I acknowledge that you are here to protect me. Thank you for sharing.”All that voice really is is the Ego and it stems from the belief that you are somehow separate from another or the world. You aren’t. That’s an illusion. But for the love of Goddess, acknowledge the voice or it’s just going to be like a 4-year old and get louder and more annoying until you give it attention

Step 3: Go back to your WHY (Vision) + What was the reason you got into your business in the first place? What drew you to want to be close to that person? Write it down. Dance it out. Sing about it. Heck, I even had one client record her own voice for what her why was and she plays it every morning on her fancy iphone!

When we re-visit our why (or vision), our bigger intention, all of a sudden, the subconscious remembers, “Oh yea, it’s not about Me (Ego). It’s about being in service and using my gifts to the fullest extent of my potential.” (or your own version of that!)

Step 4: Ask the tough question

Once you’ve done all the leg work in the steps above, your nervous system has most likely calmed down so you can ask the tougher question: where could you be sabotaging your own success? In my client’s case, as she did a bit of digging, what came out was that every time she cleaned up her apartment and started doing Feng-Shui, her mother’s voice came into her head and said, “It’s not good enough.” (translation…you are not good enough).

So, the inner rebel in her just refused to go there, and the result? A super disorganized home. Once she was able to identify where her own sabotage came from and through our work together, was able to clear it, she could approach it from a different space, literally. And she now enjoys decorating and keeping her home beautiful. Baby steps!

 

Step 5: Love yourself

This is the toughest one of all. It sounds like a blanket statement but it’s not. Put your hand on your heart and say, “Even though I feel weird/angry/embarrassed/like a fraud right now/etc, I still deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

It may feel fake at first but really, if you are committed to making changes, you’re going to have to do things differently. Stay open and keep shining beautiful one! You’ve got this!

 

———————

Take Action Time:

I want to hear from you:

  1. What helps YOU tame that “fraud” voice? Post a comment on here!
  2. Try out the 3 steps if you’re serious about shifting your energy for the REST OF THE WEEK and post your findings of this experiment by posting a comment here!
  3. Need help? Consider this first.

Sometimes (more often than not), the “voice” is not actually ours. It could be the voice of our well-intentioned parents, old lovers, even lineage or past life patterns that are running the show and squashing your capacity to move beyond certain income levels, loving partnerships or optimum health that you know you deserve. The good news? You have the power to release it. Completely. Like. For. Good.

Part of my why is to help you feel powerful in all your relationships, to help you get out of your own way and back into the fabulous, happy Goddess self I know you have inside but may have forgotten.

It takes courage. It takes effort. And if it’s a pattern that’s been ingrained in your subconscious for a long time, you need help. (otherwise you would have already seen the kind of results you wanted, right?) Now is the time. And if you’re feeling the call from within, I’m here for you, but you must take action.

Let’s talk, Goddess.

Click here to get on my calendar and have a no-pressure 20-min consult to see how I can help you.