i used to be so terrified of this…can i share something personal with you?

I used to be so terrified of my masculine energy, like if I unleashed it, it would consume everything in its path.  

What if I hurt people and I’d lose control of myself and my life?
You see, I had no real reference point for what a healthy masculine expression looked or felt like for so many years. 
So I got really really good at turning up the volume on my feminine, but in the process, i squashed and stuff down my masculine.
I was out of balance. Too much of anything can take us off our spiritual center I find.
So, today I’d like to share a story from 2013 with the intent that it inspires you to look at the places in yourself that maybe you’ve stuffed down too, places that want to come out and be seen and honored…even if you are scared.


The Stallion by Diana Dorell
On the last day of a business retreat to a horse whispering ranch in California, we were each put in a ring with our “last horse.”
Our trainer mentioned that each horse had been carefully selected for each of us based on what had come up the past two days that we still needed to sort through in order to create breakthroughs in our businesses (and really all parts of our lives!)
I was really curious which horse I’d get and when she called my name I confidently walked into the center of the much larger ring.
My coach and mastermind sisters looked on from the side smiling.

“You’ve got this. No biggie, Diana!”
I said to myself.
Then out of the corner of my eye, I see my horse.
Gorgeous, sandy-colored stallion with spots.
Pure alpha, I’m-the-king energy.
He was already bucking. With the trainer!

My palms started to get sweaty.
She unleashed him into the ring and told me to try to get him to walk with me in a circle around the perimeter of the ring.
I could use any of the tools laying around or just my voice/energy as we had learned to do the days before.
Well….I tried clapping. Yelling. Staying calm.
I used the rope.
The hoop.
I even tried skipping alongside him and singing.
He snorted at me and shook his mane before he dashed off.
Then he’d randomly gallop defiantly in front of me, and each time he came towards me, I felt a shiver run down my spine and pure terror.
I kept looking over at the trainer and she just said…”Stay with what’s coming up. Try something different.”
He started galloping faster and faster around me and I started to feel like his puppet. Or his prey.
He came ramming towards the railing next to me and at one point, even lifted up his front hoofs like the picture of the unicorn on my Angel card that is called “Victory!” 
Who was I kidding? 
I had no freakin control over this horse, or my own emotions for that matter.
Uncontrollable tears of fear and frustration streamed down my face and I literally fell to my knees, covering my head with my hands and smelling the dirt.
I just wanted to be anywhere but where I was.
A few minutes later, it was over. The trainer came inside and gently guided me out and another lady came to get Mr. Crazy.

The last day and he had won.
I felt about two inches tall and avoided looking at my coach or my mastermind sisters. But I had some breakthroughs. And I’m still uncovering more, 5 years later!

The Breakthroughs:
“So, what came up for you Diana?” we debriefed. 
I got really quiet and said nothing for awhile. And then through a discussion we had between what I felt and what the trainer and my peeps saw…I had some ah-has.
  1. That stallion represented all the men in my life who I had given my power away to. 
  2. He also showed me all the times in my life started from being a little girl to this point where I didn’t feel safe to have a voice, didn’t feel safe to feel angry or to stand in my power because I felt ashamed, weird or like it wasn’t the ‘right’ thing to do.
  3. But really, the biggest thing that came from that day was that I was so terrified of my OWN power. You see, deep down, I saw how unstoppable I could be if I just let it out. Let myself be fully integrated. Tapped into my masculine assertive energy as much as I had my feminine, receptive, go-with-the-flow energy. I just had no clue how to do that consistently.
In my experience up to that point (and maybe you can relate to this), masculine energy was aggressive, manipulative, selfish and controlling. It got shit done, but at the expense of someone or something else.
But that is only the shadow. There are always two sides to the coin.
I’ve learned that the healthy masculine, the Light side, is protective, clear and decisive, directed and extremely aware of how their actions impact the whole, doing anything in its power to make sure those around them feel safe and cared for. It’s beautiful.
And the biggest and in my opinion, most important way you bring out healthy masculine energy is in choosing to take full responsibility for your life and directing and creating it! 
My homework that day was to go to Starbucks and order something without asking the barista what their favorite drink was or what they recommended!
It was such a simple task but really was my first step in reclaiming my Divine masculine!

So, what’s the key to coming back into balance?
The first step is seeing where you have disowned yourself. 
Some big ones I’ve come to terms with over the past decade have included:
  • Dishonoring my body by eating unhealthy foods that packed on pounds, giving me the false illusion of being protected from XYZ
  • Feeling conflicted and ashamed of my sexuality (I am openly bi), feeling like I needed to hide or squeeze myself into one community or the other instead of just giving myself permission to be fabulous me!
  • Seeing my psychic gifts and extreme sensitivity as an empath (feeling everything all the time!) as something that makes me less than or weird vs awesome and something that has helped thousands of people!
Once you can identify those places where you’ve been stuffing yourself down, you free yourself from their grip, can start to formulate new patterns in your subconscious and you also free up space to allow your most integrated self to come through.

When that happens, that’s when magic really starts cooking!

Because you aren’t held back by fear.

It’s not that you’ll never be afraid or face challenges.

You’ll just stop fighting yourself in the process of facing them and things can more easily be resolved and also manifested!

Q: So what is one place where you have been hiding from yourself? What is one thing you’ve been avoiding looking at in yourself?
Name It. Write it Down. Free yourself.

That’s where your power is gorgeous goddess.

Thanks so much for being here with me.

Have a magical week!

PS: Did this post fire you up? Are you ready to make changes and are you tired of getting in your own way and letting BS excuses or blocks keep you from the life you know you deserve?

I have a handful of spots to work with privately this year and I’d love to be your spiritual mentor!
In this call we will:
– look at which of the 4 core blocks could be running the show holding you back from the life you really want
– we will discuss your goals and dreams and if we are a fit to work together!
– You are under no obligation to invest in services by booking this call but it does get the process started if you’d like to learn more.

Want to manifest better? This one tip is a game changer!

Let’s jump right in.

Q: Do you ever feel scared to say what you really want to say?

So often we are afraid of hearing “no” that we water down what we want to ask for…or worse, we don’t even ask at all.
And then we feel frustrated when the Universe doesn’t deliver.
But the Universe delivers through people.
And if you’re bottling your true desire for fear of hearing a “no” or thoughts like..
“They’ll think I’m weird/silly/selfish/(fill in the blank here)…if I ask THAT”then you’re already capping your level of receiving before you’ve opened your mouth!
This is something I remind my private clients when they are about manifest big and some old moldy fear or doubt creeps in.
If you can remember that when you ask from a place of healthy detachment and confidence-your truth shines through and the other person then gets to hear it and respond from their full truth too. 
And when you leave space for their response, whether it’s yes or no, or “I have questions for you before I answer this,” you know it will unfold from the highest-frequency place.
That is a recipe for exceptional two-way communication that leaves the door open for magic and the unexpected. 
Q: So, what’s something important want to ask someone this week?
Or even to yourself?
Are you willing to create space for a yes, a no, or whatever the response is, trusting the the Universe is taking care of you, but you need to take the first step and speak your truth?
If so and you want to really ramp up the energy this week, here’s your challenge: Put your hand on your heart and say “I am willing to make a bold request this week and trust that I am fully supported!”
The more you practice, the easier it gets.
And so it is.
Looking for a spiritual relationship mentor? I’d love to speak with you and get to know you better! Click here to book a complimentary 15-minute consult and let’s chat!

your magical minute-ish

Q: What’s one simple tip that can help you command more respect in your personal and professional relationships?

This week, I answer this in a 1-minute audio clip I’m calling “Your Magical Minute-ish…”

The more you do this one thing, the less likely that others take you for granted and the more likely it is that you will be appreciated, heard and honored by the people you are closest to in your life.

And who doesn’t want more of that?

Click below to listen.

Have an awesome week!


2018: Year of Love!

2018 highlights:

This is an 11/2 Universal Year in numerology. Key themes highlighted include:


Love (romantic and platonic)


Your relationship to the physical and material world.

Q: What is one thing you are excited to manifest in 2018?

Leave a comment and share!

For more and take my FREE quiz: Are you really over your ex? Click here!

How to hold onto yourself in a relationship

Have you ever had a friend who you never see once she’s in a relationship?

And then when they break up, she’s blowing up your phone?

Maybe you’ve been that person.

I’ve been on both ends!

When you are in love, it’s easy to fall into an all-consuming pattern of making your world all about the other person and in the process, you lose yourself.

Then all of a sudden, your partner starts to pull away, maybe you are having less sex or you just feel like they aren’t appreciating you as much as you want.

90% of the time it’s because you have forgotten to feed your inner fire.

I call it your Goddess flame.

That thing that makes you burn bright (joy, radiance, whatever you want to call it) that attracted them in the first place.

In essence, being yourself and making sure to take care of yourself and your desires.

Maintaining your sense of personal identity separate from the identity of you as a couple.

That’s where the sizzle factor comes in.

And it’s the same energy you can use to manifest an influx of new clients in your business, a new career opportunity, more money, you name it!

To keep that flame burning, it’s imperative that you hold onto yourself even when in partnership.

So…here are…<drumroll>

3 tips to to hold onto yourself in a relationship

    1. Make time for the things that bring you joy. When you are in love, it’s tempting to abandon them in favor of what your sig other wants to do but part of what drew them towards you was because of the aura you gave off from doing things that lit up your world. Keep doing them!
    2. Make time to connect with friends and build new connections. Pick up the phone and call your friends. Make plans to see each other. So often, we lose a sense of balance between socializing with a partner and socializing with our own friends. Even if your partner is disappointed, trust me, they will love and respect you more if you are not around them 24/7 and you will feel lighter as well!
    3. Maintain a bit of mystery. Keep some things to yourself. Important: This is very different than withholding important information that directly affects the relationship. I’m talking about things like every single thing you did in a day or how you feel about everything and anything. Making your partner the be all and end all of your emotional life puts a lot of pressure on the relationship! Allow your partner to be there for you emotionally but resist the pattern of making them a therapist. They aren’t. They are your lover and friend. Emotional responsibility for our own stuff is paramount for maintaining sizzle and spark!

That’s it!

Over to you. Q: Have you ever lost yourself in a relationship or been on the other side? What helped you to come back into balance with yourself?