A Red-Carpet Doozy that Restored My Faith (true story)

Have you ever felt like you missed out on your moment?

So, I was recently in my first feature film starring Danny Trejo with an actual named speaking role (wohoo) called Choir Practice and was thrilled to go to the 100% sold out in 24 hours red carpet premiere last month.

As the lights went down in the theatre, I felt giddy and also a little anxious as I had no idea what part of the film my scene would be in. My husband and good friends were by my side.

About 20 minutes in, I felt this tickle at my throat. I swallowed, hoping it would go away.

Then, I started lightly coughing.

Then…uncontrollable coughing. My body was telling me to get out of there and make it to the ladies room.

I was not sick and I hadn’t had anything to eat, but I couldn’t stop coughing and throwing up water. It was the most bizarre thing ever.

As I surrendered to the moment, I let my body do its thing and once it calmed, I returned quietly back into the theatre.

My husband turned to me, and whispered, “Are you okay? As soon as you left the theatre, your scene came on!” My friends threw up their hands as if to say, “WTF, Diana?”

My face fell. I had missed my one scene. My one chance (or so it felt) to see all the hard work pay off.

Why had my body betrayed me?

One of my co-stars said, “I feel soooo sad for you-you totally killed it in that scene! You could come to the encore screening next weekend! You should see it.”

A glimmer of hope.

I pulled up my phone to buy a ticket to the next weekend-final screening…only to find out that it too had just sold out moments ago. And no one knew what was going to happen with distribution or where the film would go after that screening…

My stomach dropped.

Okay, maybe I was just not supposed to see myself and was just supposed to enjoy the moment.

But somehow I felt like I had to be there.

I reflected the next morning on the whole thing and began a dialogue with my body.

What came up was that my inner child was protecting me from potential critciscm and judgement from the audience members.

What if they didn’t think my Spanish accent was authentic enough?

What if they made comments about my body or my weight?

What if I sucked and was an embarrassment to the director and the film?

It was all coming out in my journal and I just allowed it all.

I did some EFT tapping and had a session with my own coach.

I had to restore a feeling of safety at being quite literally seen in a bigger way (hello, full screen movie theatre!)

And you know what?

As I processed, and took the pressure off “needing” a ticket to that second screening?

It came in!

Through a series of synchronicities and a fated phone call, I got to go.

This time, I felt relaxed.

This time, I knew what to expect and even though there was a red carpet, I just let myself organically enjoy it instead of feeling pressure to ‘be on’ or ‘be seen a certain way.’

And when I felt that familiar tickle (because yes it happened again!), I took a deep breath and actually did some EFT tapping right there in my seat and whispered, “It is safe to see myself right now. It is safe to be seen.”

And….I got to see the scene.

It was wonderful and the film was so beautiful.

I felt really proud of myself and had an amazing time celebrating after.

Watch part of my scene here on the Choir Practice IG page! 

A few key lessons:

• Our bodies are just trying to keep us safe. Restore safety and you allow more in!
• When you relax, things can come easier. Not from force, but from neutrality, receptivity and acceptance.
• You can’t f–ck up your fate. If something doesn’t go as planned, there is a higher lesson. Something even more aligned is waiting.

Q: Over to you! Have you ever experienced a time when your body responded unexpectedly to a key moment? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!