how to stop accepting crumbs in a relationship

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Nothing annoys me more and makes me want to do some scary Kali-Ma drumming rage dance than hearing woman after woman call me + say some version of this:

I’m okay accepting crumbs….it’s not that bad.

Oh. my. Goddess. Nooooooo!

This madness must stop and especially the day before National Self-Love Day and 2 days before the V-day, I’m not going to sugar coat it.

You will never create the type of amazing, lasting, nourishing relationship you say you want if you keep accepting crumbs.

It’s like walking by this gorgeous cake with your name on it and deliberately walking two blocks out of your way to pick up the crusty, nasty CRUMBS that some other goddess left behind as she was eating her gorgeous cake.

It’s in-sanity!

Why do we do this?

A few specific examples of how this shows up in real-life:

  • saying yes to booty calls with your ex (who you’re supposedly ‘over’) 
  • getting stood up on a date and letting the guy reschedule?! (after you text him to find out wtf happened).
  • calling your friend because you really need a friendly ear after a shitty day at work..and then letting her steer the conversation to herself for the entire call and keeping quiet about it.

No. no. no.

If this is pissing you off too, I’m doing my job.

If you are ready to retire your crumb-accepting crappy broken tiara once and for all, here are 3 behaviors you’re going to need to stop.
Stop the following-

1. Stop thinking you won’t get anything else if you reject this crappy, unacceptable option.
I call this the something-is-better-than-nothing mentality. Yes, it takes courage to walk away when you don’t have a guarantee that something else will immediately rush in to take its place. But it’s a discipline and requires a lot of self-trust and trust in more than enough.

2. Stop believing that it’s “greedy” to want more than the bare minimum and that wanting more makes you a bad person.

This usually comes from childhood and what was modeled to us around being a “good” girl. Wanting more than the minimum can feel scary but you’re going to have to shift this if you want to be treated like the Queen you are.

3. Stop letting other people dictate your standards.

Often times, it’s easier to just not have any standards, but leaves you constantly at the mercy of what other people decide. And it’s hard to attract a quality relationship when your standards are non-existent or unclear. So get some girlfriend and take  ownership of this!

The more you can stop these three behaviors, the sooner you’ll be on your way to not even notice the yucky crumbs and claim the whole damn cake.

ps: It’s likely that the pattern of accepting crumbs isn’t one that just started. And it can be easier to navigate and break when you have a partner beside you who has been through the ropes. If you’re ready to turbo-charge your results this year, private coaching can help you get there! Click here to explore coaching and book a complimentary love-assessment call with Diana.

Feb 2020 Goddess Guidance Oracle Message

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Key words for the month: compromise. collaboration. passion. partnership!

Feb is Self Love month, so any opportunity you can create for yourself that is nourishing and feeds you on an emotional and spiritual level will only benefit you.

If you’re new to my community, welcome!

Every first week of the month, I share a Goddess Guidance message video.

Grab a paper and pen and enjoy!

After you watch, share with me in the comments:
Q: What card spoke to you the most? What are you most excited about for Feb?

ps: New to the page? Go here to grab your free gift: 7 Goddess Secrets to Up Your Confidence Now!

3 tips to help you manage your emotions when you’re doing something that scares you

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Have you felt called to do something that scares you this year?

Maybe it’s to start dating again.

Or to end a dead-end relationship.

Or to be brave and say what you really need.

Anytime we embark on a new journey, or make a different choice other than the one that feels safe and comfortable, shit is going to get kicked up.

It just comes with the territory.

But you don’t have to let it stop you.

Here is my go-to list of 3 things you can do to manage the emotions that arise when you’re about to do something that scares you.

1) Breathe…from your belly.

Yes, that sounds very simple but when we come from fear, we are usually breathing very shallow from our chest and we make poor decisions.

It takes just a minute to get conscious, slow down and imagine you are blowing up a really tough balloon. Place your hands on your tummy as it expands and slowly exhale. Repeat 3X. 

2) Heart ‘Tapping’ 

Take your index and middle finger and lightly tap the soft spot near your breastbone.

Say anything you’re feeling or thinking unfiltered as you do so.

Ex: “I feel really f—-in scared, what if I mess up,” (all while gently tapping that point).

Get it all out there and when you feel complete say, “Even though I feel all of that, I still deeply and completely love and accept myself.” Release the tapping. Notice how awesome you feel. 

3) Affirm: “I’m growing and that’s a great thing.”
Anytime we feel nervous, giddy, weird but we know we are taking an important step towards something that’s going to move us forward, having an affirmation to say or to see can calm your mind. It reminds you that it’s a normal part of the process, instead of an excuse to stop. 

The more you can use these 3 tips when you’re feeling scared, the easier it will be to keep going, surprise and delight yourself!

Q: Which one of these 3 tips will you implement this week in your life?

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Share with me in the comments and you would like a partner to support you in turbo-charging your results, go here to explore private coaching.

I had to kick him out….

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Happy Wed!

Have you ever gotten to the end of your day and just have a headache that won’t go away?

Maybe you try poppin some Advil, meditating or even showering, but you can’t quite escape the feeling like you may have absorbed other people’s energy.

If you’re an empath like many of my clients, having simple, easy things you can do to kick out other people’s energy is key to staying sane.

Today’s intuitive exercise is called The School Bus 🙂

After doing it, people have shared with me that they feel lighter, more clear and more grounded.

It’s from that space that we show up the best for the people we love and are more likely to spot red flags in new relationships…because we are in our own vibes, yo!

Go here to check it out and give it a go.

After you watch, leave a comment on the blog to let me know how it went for you!

I was so afraid of being hurt again…

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Opening your heart again after being betrayed or hurt can feel really scary.

There is this transformative energy in the air, especially with this past weekend’s Harvest Moon/lunar eclipse.

Can you feel it?

There is tremendous opportunity right now to let go of the heavy shackles that have kept you stuck from the past.

A time when karmic debts can be paid.

And a lightness into the new is inevitable.

But sometimes we can get in our own way from allowing these opportunities in.

I was speaking with a woman awhile back who shared how uncomfortable it felt to even think about opening up to a new relationship.

Even though she really was yearning for a life partner.

For the sake of privacy, let’s call her *Ann.

Ann had been taken advantage of several times before and she felt this push-pull between wanting to leap into the dating scene again after years…and just focusing on her career and not bothering.

When she asked my advice on what she could do to open her heart if she entertained the first option, here’s what I shared…

What to believe to open your heart…

It boils down to this: know + believe that you are safe.

When we don’t feel safe, we hide ourselves.

We give from a protective, limited space that says, “I don’t want to give too much in case you try to take too much or hurt me.”

It is based in a scarcity, not-enough energy and it repels the very thing you seek: love.

What can you do if you realize you’ve been operating from this space?

It basically comes down to reminding our inner Child that the grown up Goddess within you is in charge.

It’s not that you never feel afraid.

It’s that your belief that you are accepted and safe even with those fears is stronger.

In that space, when you’ve been reassuring your inner Child that you are enough.

That there is always enough of anything to go around.

That it is safe to give and receive love, and that you’ll know quickly if there’s someone that isn’t helpful to engage in relationships with.

Magic opens.

When we don’t take care of the inner kid in us, that’s when it’s easy to sabotage.

To think the Universe is not on your side, and that you have to keep your guard up all the time.

To go out with inappropriate partners.

To close yourself off from opportunities to meet new people.

To over-indulge in distractions like TV, overeating or toxic thoughts that keep you from taking action you know you need to take.

It all starts with a decision: 1) Are you willing to reassure your inner child that you will take care of it? 2) Are you willing to open your heart, even when you don’t “do it perfectly?”

If so, say YES in the comments!

ps: If you are ready to release layers of energetic blockages so that you can learn how to love yourself, open your heart and call in a soul mate partner in 2020, I would love to work with you! I’ve helped hundreds of folks to let go of their blocks and increase their self-confidence and feminine attraction energy! Next step:Go here to book a time to connect with me for a 15-min intro consultation.