i was in prison

/0 Comments/in /by

I remember gazing up at a sterile white wall.

I was in one of those flimsy hospital gowns and my heart was beating so fast.

I remember taking a heavy, labored breath and tears streamed down my face. That was the moment.

The moment I realized that I had been in prison.

Not actual prison, but a prison of my mind.

I was in the ER in Oakland and had no idea how I ended up there.

All I remembered was feeling dizzy and worried about one of the 10,000 things I had on my plate that day.

I had five jobs I was juggling, a relationship that was quickly unraveling and I honestly had to remind myself to eat my schedule was that crazy.

I call it pre-Angel awakening era.

The prison I was in is what many of us can fall into.

It is the prison of believing that your worth is only as good as what you “produce” or “do.”

I didn’t feel worthy of slowing down. Or taking a real mental or physical break. If I wasn’t doing something for someone, who was I?

Have you ever been in that place?

When you are there, your body talks to you, but you rarely listen.

And because everything in your life is connected, it wasn’t a shocker that I ended up in the ER where all they could say was I was “in a high state of stress” and in my relationship at the time, I constantly felt like I wasn’t good enough, so I overgave and was guided primarily by my insecurities…never a recipe for a loving, healthy partnership.

So, my body woke me up to the Truth of the lie I’d been buying into.

And a voice whispered…”you are enough, Diana..just as you are. There’s nothing you need to do to prove that to anyone. It’s ok to be still a bit.”

Everything that came after that day at the ER was part of what I now see as a spiritual awakening…a commitment to be more conscious and gentle with myself. To know that I am a work in progress and that perfection is an illusion.

What freed me from the prison is one word that packs a punch.

That word is permission.

And if you are desiring more love in your life and it has felt MIA, consider that it could be a great time to give yourself permission…..

Permission to release from that internal prison now….

When we judge ourselves and our worth based on our productivity, we are at the mercy of an invisible slave master.

You can’t be fully in the moment because your thoughts are one step ahead wondering and analyzing what you should or could do more of.

And newsflash: If you aren’t fully in the moment, it’s going to be way harder to hear the subtle messages from your intuition or to take the steps that would allow you to attract love into your life.

So….

The Permission Challenge: Will you take this journey with me this week?

So starting right now I’m giving myself permission to not bang out 11 tips to xyz from my head and I trade it in for real, raw and potent Truth from my Soul. ps: That is your Soul Love nugget for this week too.

Where do you need to give yourself permission?

And

Are you willing to give yourself permission?

All sorts of cool shit happens when we give ourselves permission…it feels like this secret guilty pleasure, but really, giving yourself permission is about letting of self-judgement.

And when we do that, we also find that people tend to judge us less or said another way, we feel more generally accepted because well…we accept ourselves.

So, I made a “I give you permission” list for myself.

Here are three things on it.

:: I give myself permission to respond to messages only after checking in to see that I’ve nourished myself first (hydrated, fed myself, am calm, etc). I release internal pressure to respond right away…ahhh!

:: I give myself permission to say no when I get a request that will “just take a few minutes of my time.” My time is a non-renewable resource, so instead of doing the polite…maybe a little later, I’m just going for the Truth: thanks, but no thanks. No explanation needed.

:: I give myself permission to have daily space-out time in nature, even if that means me staring out my window at a tree. A screensaver of a tree doesn’t cut it.

Now over to you.

Q: What is one thing you will give yourself permission for this week?

Hit reply and tell me!

I get a lot of email so while I can’t promise a response, I do promise to read it.

Ps: Are you getting the nudge that you would like more personalized support on how to tame your monkey mind and let go of all the crap that’s been holding you back from having a great life and relationship? Click here to schedule a consult with me + let’s talk. I want to hear your goals and also see if I’m the best person to partner with you at this time. No obligation, but if you are feeling that consistent knowing that something’s gotta change, I’d love to support you.

do you struggle with overwhelm? i’m spilling my top secret strategy! shhhh…

/0 Comments/in /by

Have you ever felt like your life is running you instead of you running your life?

Emphasis on the word ‘running.’

You know, the days where you’re running late to yet another appointment.

With a To-Do List miles long that seems to be winning.

And when you DO have 5 minutes to actually glance at it, the thought of tackling it or focusing feels too exhausting.

And then you start to beat yourself up.

And feel overwhelmed, frustrated and like hiding under the covers and turning off your cell ringer.

And did I mention it’s only 12noon?

—

It’s hard to feel happy, adored and free if you are caught up in what I call being a regular visitor on the the playing catch-up, indecision island experience.

And it’s even harder to hear your own intuition or recognize its signals when you are scattered.

If this sounds like you, do yourself a favor and watch this short (less than 5 minute) video. (made especially for YOU!)

I hear you and I’ve been there. It sucks. It’s exhausting and it’s soul-sucking. But the great news?

It’s temporary. You just need to learn how to re-focus when life takes over!

This week’s LOVE video is designed to help you do just that!

Here’s what you’re going to learn in this video:

  • How to stop treading water (and wasting time) on “to-do’s” that suck your energy
  • My Top Secret-no-more, Unconventional 3 minute strategy to knowing exactly where to focus first (it involves calling in a Goddess!)
  • How to stop feeling distracted when life around you gets CRAAZZZYYY

 

 

This week’s Soul Love Q: What is your favorite tip to combat overwhelm and lack of focus? Share with us in the comments below!

Want to work with me for FREE? Sign up for Soul Mate: A 5-day e-course to attract love and feel happy, adored and free!

are you tired of settling for crumbs? i’ve got you covered!

/0 Comments/in /by

Do you know that you deserve better in a relationship?

Do you wonder why other people seem to thrive and get all this attention and adoration from a partner (or the world at large) when you seem to give and give and get crumbs back?

Do you feel frustrated, annoyed or just plain dumbfounded at how to break the cycle?

I’d love to share a story with you about this with the intent that it helps you see what could be running the show and how you can begin to break it for good.

I was speaking with a woman recently who we will call *Samantha. Samantha is beautiful, smart and has one of the most generous, loving hearts of anyone I know.

She’s super tuned into the spiritual world and being of service.

She had her own business and was in a relationship with a guy she really loved but when we peered behind the curtain of small talk, some uncomfortable Truths came out:

-She was working all the time and barely making ends meet. She was wondering if she should just go back to her old job even though she really hated it.

-She hadn’t had sex with her partner in a loooong time and admitted that she often felt irritated or too exhausted to bring it up. They weren’t connecting and she didn’t feel special or adored. He was treating her more like a roommate than a cherished lover.

I asked her some more powerful questions and more came out..

-She wasn’t making money in her business because she felt terrible asking for the sale. She low-balled her rates so much that she’d end up paying herself less than minimum wage with all the hours she put in. But she was terrified her clients would go elsewhere if she charged what she really wanted to and was assuming they couldn’t afford it.

-In her relationship, she admitted the work stuff was getting in the way of her energy levels and desire for intimacy. Her whole body felt contracted and tight and she felt uncomfortable asking her partner for help (even if it was just to let her vent and to hold her while she shared what was happening). She didn’t want to bother him or be too much trouble and besides, she should be able to deal with this on her own, right? She was a grown woman after all.

“I feel like I’m failing even though I am working so hard. He’s not seeing my Goddess side because even I have know idea where she went!!! I work all the freakin time it’s like she’s numbed out!”

Whoa.

Now we were onto something.

Soul Truths:

When the shell finally cracked, Samantha realized that she had been allowing herself to settle for crumbs. She was almost proud of it that she could do things on her own and that she could survive on so little affection and resources. (This shocked her but that ah-ha came straight from her!) It was almost as if she had a program running inside her that said, “The harder life is, the more you’ll feel proud of yourself. And the less you ask for, the more spiritual you are.”

In short…in her old mindset,.settling for crumbs=getting more spiritual gold stars.

Her eyes got really really wide as she took in what she just uncovered.

After the initial shock wore off, she blurted out:

“OMG! No wonder I’m not letting him in. No wonder I’m barely making enough money to support myself! I’m so done being on that rollercoaster. That was fun in my 20’s but not anymore! I’m so so done! Done done!”

And we had a really good laugh!

And from that point of vulnerable Truth, the actual healing work could finally begin.

The Golden Take-Away Tip:

The key was in identifying what mindset, self image, stories and fears were running the old program. And from there, it was about getting clear on what self-image she intended to project to the world and most importantly to herself. And coming into energetic alignment with that new image. That’s what it takes to break the pattern of settling for crumbs. In any area of your life and especially relationships.

This is the core of the Soul healing work I help my VIP and private clients with.

Now, it wasn’t an overnight change, but last time I heard from her, she had raised her rates to reflect the awesome service she provides (which was ‘terrifying and liberating’), had opened up to her partner which was very healing for them both and actually ended in an amicable ending as he was not really in a place to be in a committed partnership (again, truth telling leads to more truth telling!) and she’s started dancing and dating again, clear on how she wants to be treated and also never settling for emotional or financial crumbs again.

“My Goddess is running the show again and it’s so much fun!” she told me.

She’s creating a life based on honoring herself and there’s no bigger high.

This week’s Soul question: “Have you ever settled for crumbs? What helped you to break free and create something different for yourself?” Share with us in the comments below!

Want to get more, for FREE?

Sign up for “Soul Mate: A 5-day e-course to attract love, and feel happy, adored and free!”

It’s FREE and I’ll share more exercises to help you anchor into what it’s going to take to attract great love into your life!

 

3 steps to cure comparing-itis

/0 Comments/in /by

It starts off innocently.

You’re in a great mood-feeling pretty good about your day.

You go to your computer and log into Facebook.

Or Gmail.

You’re sifting through, humming along and and you see it.

“Just engaged-I said YES!”

“I just crossed $50k/month in my online business!”

“Dear (you), OMG, I am finally doing it! I quit my job and just booked my dream vacation to Paris-paid speaking gig and they are covering it!”

And your energy drops.

Your mind starts to ping pong and race.

You feel anxious.

You’ve just stepped into comparison-itis land!

Here are 3 simple (and spiritual) steps you can take when you find yourself in comparison-itis land, especially around relationships.

Watch here:

 

This week’s Soul Love Q: Have you ever struggled from comparison-itis? What did you do? Share with us!

 

Ps: Want to attract L-O-V-E and get free weekly updates? Click here and I will send you the 5-day ecourse (totally free!) to help you attract love and feel happy, adored and free!

funny v-day story + your love gift!

/0 Comments/in /by

Flashback. Circa 2006/2007. San Francisco.

“Cecilia!!! He didn’t do anything!! Anything!!!”

I came out of dive bar with my friend, wailing because my boyfriend at the time hadn’t done anything romantic or grand for the big V-day (I had told him casually that I didn’t care for the holiday and well, being an engineer he took me literally-men, if you are reading this, never fall for this line…most of us DO care even though we pretend we don’t) but the icing on the cake was that his mother was driving up to see him from the suburbs and he had erased all evidence of my existence at his apartment. Today of all freakin days to visit her son. I mean, seriously? This was not okay!

As the terrible-no-good-very-bad-night wound down, I was so out of my head and enraged that I was convinced that my car had been stolen. We looked everywhere, up and down every street in the Mission and in my frantic state, I called the SF police and my boyfriend. Both were on their way and then my friend yells, “Diana, isn’t that your car right over there?” Gulp. It was right in front of us the whole time. I had to explain myself to the police, inform my boyfriend that no…I did not need him to come and well…let’s just say it wasn’t my finest moment.

The lesson:

I share this story with you because no matter what your “relationship status” is, Valentine’s Day can bring up all sorts of weird insecurities and emotions that you didn’t even know you had in you. Back then, the only way I could validate being lovable was by a man going above and beyond to make sure the whole world knew I was. It was about Ego, not expressing. But there’s another way. Over the years, I’ve learned to have compassion for that wounded aspect within us that so badly wants validation and affirmation.

And what I’ve come to realize is that it’s far more empowering to see it as a reminder from the Divine, Spirit, God/Goddess that we are a vessel for love.

That our natural state is well…love. And what if instead of making it about personal love to one person, it became an opportunity to spread love everywhere you see it? How does that feel in your body? And most importantly, to the person staring you back in the mirror? Aren’t they worth it?

Here’s the rub: Our capacity to receive and recognize love= the capacity we have to love ourselves TWEET THAT.

Flawed, annoying, inconsistent, but incredibly fabulous whole. Self.

Easy to say. Harder to practice, right?

Will you join me?

I’m hosting a FREE 5-day Soul Love Challenge/e-course starting right now and I’d love for you to join me!

But when you truly love and accept yourself, the whole world opens up.

You are no longer a prisoner of your circumstances, of other people’s opinions.

You’re magnetic without trying to be. And then, shit comes to you that you didn’t even ask for that is better than you could have ever imagined.

Instead of scraping for crumbs, you’re given not one, but two cakes and they both have a ton of icing on it.

I call it the self-love Goddess way. Cheesy? Maybe. But don’t judge it until you try it.

This isn’t a do-it-once-get-a-result-quit-it-and-resume-your-old-way kind of shifting.

It’s about shifting into a way of Be-ing.

Want to get a taste of what that feels like?

Join me for the 5-day e-course and Soul LOVE Challenge!

Here’s to spreading love all around the world, starting with you dear Soul friend.

Happy Valentines’ Day week and excited to be a part of raising the energetic frequency starting NOW.

Love and Blessings,

Diana