An easy script for getting your needs met (esp. with “difficult” people)

Let’s face it.

People can be ehem…difficult sometimes.

Communication can get challenging especially if you tend to be the one to stuff your feelings until it gets really really unbearable and then you explode.

I used to be that type and it just never really worked, so I had to find a new way!

Whether it’s in the workplace with a boss or client, or in the home with a family member, girlfriend or lover, it’s important to feel like you’re getting your needs met in a healthy way. 

This builds self-confidence, self-respect and also opens you up to take creative risks because you trust yourself.

I’d like to share a 4-step process that my clients have used to express themselves successfully even when speaking with some of the most power-driven, type-A intimidating types.

#1 Pinpoint the issue or challenge in a simple way. 

Use “us/we” vs. “you” 

Example: In friendships…

“I noticed that it’s been difficult to find a time to us to connect, even when we set a time.”

#2 State what you need with little to no emotion

(prep work: actually write down what your needs are and what you’d like to see change. This focuses your energy so you take the emotion out of it when you have the conversation).

NOTE: Go for what you really really want/need vs. the bare minimum you’d settle for or you think you can get. This is important! You are important! It’s about being clear and directive with yourself vs defensive and reactive.

“I’d really love for us to speak at least once a month uninterrupted, even if it’s just for 15 minutes and make our friendship a priority, even though life gets crazy.”

#3 Re-direct it back to them: 

Ask, “What do you think?” 

This takes the energy loop back full circle and helps the person feel included in the decision or solution which is always a good thing! Often times, they may have additional information or suggestions that come out once you state your needs and what you want to see. 

“What do you think about that?” 

#4 Last step: Listen, take in what they say and together you’ll most likely find a simple solution that makes it a win: win for both parties involved!

With practice, this becomes second-nature and you’ll be one step closer to getting what you want, without manipulation or weirdness!

This week’s Soul question: Have you ever had to communicate something you needed to a person who was challenging you? What did you do and what worked? Share with us in the comments below!

credit: peek-photography.nyc

credit: peek-photography.nyc

ps: Want to become exceptional at communicating confidently in your relationships? Click here to book a private session where we will uncover your key blocks to communicating and I can help you put together the words that help you feel respected and loved!

a self-love ritual you can actually stick to

Self-love is a term that gets thrown around in the self-help fields like confetti.

I’m here to make it super simple.

When you love and appreciate yourself, your outer world reflects that feeling.

You feel happier, more confident and yes, more in control of your life.

But it requires practice and consistency.

And let’s face it, you may not always have a free hour or two in your day to dedicate to yourself (it’s something to build towards for sure!).

But we all have the same 24 hours in a day.

The question is: How dedicated are you to up-leveling your inner world?

Here are 4 steps to make it super easy!

Step 1: (Prep) Write down all the things that you know bring you closer to your Spirit.

journaling, pulling Angel cards, going for a walk, dancing in your bedroom, meditating, doing a few yoga poses, petting the dog. you get it. dump it out on a list.

Step 2: Pick one ritual every morning when you first open your eyes. Just one. Make it digestible so you can actually be consistent. Anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes I find is ideal for busy bees!

Say aloud, “Today, the ritual that would most nurture my Spirit is….”

Close your eyes if you like and swirl your finger around. If you aren’t sure, ask the Angels to pick for you. Open your eyes and the ritual that’s closest to your finger is the one you do that morning.

Step 3: Actually do the ritual and celebrate!

That’s it! You’re done!

Want an extra boost?

Say this mantra:

When I am consistent, I am clear.

When I am clear, I create space.

When I create space, I come back to myself.

And anything is possible.

This week’s Soul question: What is an activity that you have been putting off that you know would bring you closer to your Spirit? Share with us in the comments below! Nothing like accountability to get your bootie in gear!

Want more free tips on manifesting, trusting yourself and having rockin relationships? Click here to access your FREE training!

credit: peek-photography.nyc

credit: peek-photography.nyc

want to sharpen your psychic abilities? keep one of these in your purse!

When I first started learning about intuition and psychic hits, it was really hard for me to bypass that logical side of my brain that said, “If you can’t see it, if you don’t have evidence, it’s not real.”

Maybe some of you left-brainers can relate!

And one little tip from a mentor helped me actually use that doubt as fuel for my intuition.

It’s called simply the “I’m-not-crazy” journal.

Seriously.

What is it?

It literally is a little notepad you can keep in your purse or desk and at the top you write “I’m not Crazy” evidence.

What do you do with it?

Every time you get an intuitive “nudge” or feeling about a certain situation in your life,  you write it down.

Then you put an actual date on it.

After following your guidance (or sometimes just letting time pass naturally), you will start to notice that the thing you were actually feeling not only happened, but was right on the money!

You can put a sticker or a check mark. Anything to “reward” yourself for being right on track (and not crazy!). The logical side loves rewards and checking things off!

At first it could be silly stuff like, “Feeling like if you made a right turn in the parking lot, a spot would open up…and then it does.”

What’s the benefit?

But the more you do it, the more you’ll find that logical, skeptical part of you quieting down and submitting to your intuitive, non-linear part.

The sweet sauce happens when you marry the two.

Intuitive nudge, followed by inspired action from your fabulous logical brain.

BAM!

That is what the self-help gurus call the “flow.”

And you can start to tap into it right now, today.

All you need is a pen and paper.

Ready? Set….GO!

This week’s soul question: What is one intuitive nudge or gut feeling you got that ended up being spot on? Share with us in the comments below!

Out of your comfort zone? Remember these lessons!

Have you ever been asked to do something you know you suck at?

Maybe it’s to lead a presentation on a topic you know very little about.

Or to talk to a bunch of people when you’d rather be behind your laptop.

Or to go on a blind date with someone your friend set you up with.

The Universe is sneaky sometimes, but always brilliant.

In order to get to the next level of your Soul’s journey (and being the person you’ve always dreamed of being, living the way you’ve always dreamed of living), you are usually asked to exit your comfort zone.

In a major way. Not just once. But over and over and over again.

And when that happens, you either step up to meet and be-friend that part of you that is scared or you thrash about and sabotage your success.

This could be in business, in love, heck, even in exercise habits!

Can I share a true story with you about moving out of your comfort zone + the intuitive guidance that came out from it?

My intention is that it helps you feel less alone during all the changes that you may be navigating right now in your life.

There’s also a short 3-part phrase that you can say aloud to yourself or silently whenever you are faced with a new situation. (I’m all about practical action!)

ps:…you’ll get to see a picture of me in a princess tiara…you’ll understand once you read the short story!

====

The Story:

One day, at dance camp….

This summer, I’ve been blissing out, teaching dance in a summer camp here in the desert and lo and behold I apparently volunteered to help decorate the center for the theme of the week: fairy tales.

I should preface this post by saying that glue guns scare me, anything involving fabric or loops or putting intricate pieces of cloth together with a needle just send me into irrational, helpless, frustrated Goddess land.

Give me the mic at karaoke and I’ll do it.

Want me to give a speech on the spot to 1000 people?

I’ll rock it out.

But anything involving the words ‘arts and crafts?’

Eeek!! I get so nervous and look for the exit door.

Lesson #1: The Universe is sneaky but brilliant. You have to risk being a novice to eventually be a rock star in your life.

It knows our weak spots. The things we hate doing because we’d rather do only the things we are awesome at than risk looking like a novice or an idiot (or both).

So when it came to my attention that in fact my partner in crime heading up fairy tale week would be supervising a field trip and would not be there,  I froze.

WTF?

How was I supposed to transform the space without a plan or even the faintest idea of where to begin? Was this all a bad dream?

If this was in my business, I would just simply delegate the unhappy task to my assistant or seek out expert advice from my coach.

But this was not that situation.

And the kids were counting on me to wake up Monday morning to a fairy tale wonderland.

I had less than four hours.

GO.

First idea: Google Disney princesses and make paper cut outs. Yay technology!

The printer didn’t do color.

Next idea: Get large poster boards and draw castles and wands and stuff. An odd sort of spastic creative progress.

I could only use 2 poster boards because they were needed for the art lesson. (I didn’t know I was supposed to bring supplies too!) 

C.r.a.p

Lesson #2: There are no short-cuts when it comes to learning your Soul lessons. Get creative!

Despite my inner whining, I pulled out markers and crayons and watercolors.

Blank butcher paper stood before, looming and teasing me as if to say, “You are a dance teacher, do you even know what to do with me?”

I sat and taking a deep breath, I just kept saying, “Angels, help me now. I’m so scared. But, please, just help me do this.”

Long story short, I ended up using butcher paper and getting some assistance from a kind soul named *Annie and together we drew a massive dragon, Rapunzel and she had the brilliant idea to use crepe paper to drape down to be her “hair” to take up space on the sterile white walls.

By the end, there was a Princess Corner where I in fact, drew 3 of the Disney princesses (gulp!), a magic mirror and wand and also a life-size book of fairy tales, watercolored and covered in glitter for effect.

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Coming down to the wire, I also threw in Cinderella’s pumpkin, pulled a cut-out of an alligator (don’t ask me what that has to do with fairy tales) and pinned up a huge wad of sparkly blue fabric that the art teacher had kindly let me use to “billow” and make the walls pretty.

Umm, okay.

So I folded it as best I could, made it be water under the alligator and drew a sign that said, “Hey, what do you think happened to Captain Hook?”

I shocked myself and I had so much fun, despite groaning about how awful I thought everything looked.

Lesson #3: It’s never about ‘you.’ Offer it up!

When the executive director walked by, she said, “Love the colors!”

I said, “I have no idea what the heck I’m doing! I’m so sorry!” (Yet somehow I was doing it)

Painting. Drawing. Activating a part of me that I had not tapped into in a very very long time.

Her reply was brilliant.

She said, “You are using your creativity! If you’re being creative, the kids will feel that and want to be too. Just trust it and stop worrying already!”

Trust it.

My creativity.

What a heady concept.

And then it hit me.

I was focusing so much on how much more I had to do, on how much help I didn’t have, on all the negative things the kids would say about my fairy tale contribution that I forgot the whole point was to have fun! Once I did, it ended up getting done and I felt so much lighter and happier!

More lessons:

I learned that a huge part of being creative means we have to detach from it being about us.

All we have to do is simply show up as ourselves, contribute as best as we can and remember that it is truly not in our hands.

From the moment we create, we can offer it to an infinite Source.

Dedicate it to something bigger than ourselves.

Anything created from a pure heart has wings!

It’s not our job to focus on how it will be received.

That’s us trying to control and take ownership of something that simply wants to just flow through us.

Our job is simply to show up. To focus with a full heart and Soul. And to detach on some deeply cosmic level, trusting that what you put in will come back.

So the next time you end up in a situation where you feel like you’re a complete beginner or it’s out of your league, remember that all you have do is:

Let it go.

Trust yourself.

Stop worrying.

Just do the thing that you’re afraid of.

And repeat.

This week’s Soul Question: Have you ever done something that scared you? What was it and how did you get through it? Share with us in the comments below!

ps: Want to learn how to get out of your own way?

Click here to download your free manifesting training with me! I’m excited to help you create the things you want from a place that makes your Soul happy!

 

3-step Relationship Ritual to Call in the New

You may have heard of “the list.”

Make a list of the things you want in a man/woman and go to town trying to manifest.

That doesn’t always work and I want to share why and what you can do to make a list that actually helps you call in the new!

Maybe it’s a new love interest.

Maybe it’s a new friend.

Maybe it’s a new business partnership.

Regardless of what type of relationship you’re wanting to improve, this ritual works.

In this video you will learn:

  • The real reason why traditional “lists” don’t work (and make you believe that Law of Attraction stuff is a bunch of crap-o-la)
  • How your exes actually help you call in the new (you’ll learn a tangible To-Do to tweak that list once and for all…and no it doesn’t involve calling them!)
  • How to ramp up your energy and learn of an opportunity to use this Full Moon to your advantage if you choose!

After you watch, be sure to post a comment to the question below and check out this week-only Full Moon reading/healing invitation!

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Q: What is one of your top qualities in a relationship that came out of this exercise? Do you have any tips that have helped you in calling in the new and releasing the old? share with us!

Full Moon Reading Special: Ready for some Full Moon healing and clarity?

10 spots only! Click here.

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credit: peek-photography.nyc

credit: peek-photography.nyc