Today’s Q+A: “What advice do you have for those times when dating feels like a full-time job? I feel like I’m losing steam and getting so discouraged but I don’t want to give up on love. Help!”
I love this question…and before we dive in, I have a question: Have you heard of the 80/20 rule?
It’s true in business.
It’s true in real estate.
And it’s also true in dating.
It goes like this, using the business example:
80% of sales are made from 20% of the customers.
Those 20% are die-hard fans and they make up 80% of a store/product’s revenue.
That means that more than half of the people that enter a store on any given day will never, ever buy.
Or buy sporadically when there’s a sale or something.
But I digress.
If we apply this to dating, it’s so easy to focus on the 80% of dates that suck, that leave you mystified with why there wasn’t a follow-up date or text or call.
It’s easy to beat yourself up and want to throw in the towel, when really, if you reframe it-20% of those date will most likely be amazing.
And…if we take it a step further, if you’re wanting to stay open to wonderful potential partners, what if you look for the 80% of what you love and admire in someone? No one, I repeat, no one is perfect and expecting 100% perfection will yield disappointment.
Even if the date goes nowhere, putting your focus and lens on looking for what is interesting about someone, or what they are brining out in you is sending positive energy out towards them and yourself.
And you’re more likely to notice when someone really is a great match for you.
So…in a nutshell:
- When you feel low, remember the stats: Not every date will be a winner. In fact, 80% may suck. But 20% will be interesting and get you closer to who you’re meant to be with.
- Stay open + focus on finding something interesting with every date you go on. You’ll have a lot more fun and who knows what magical opportunities could arise when you stay out of judgement and put away your long-ass requirements.
Q: What do you think about this 80/20 rule? How has it showed up in your life?
Leave a comment – I’d love to hear from you!